Giving Thanks for My Low Sex Drive Journey

by | Nov 20, 2014 | Sex Drive Transformation, Thankfulness | 4 comments

 I am grateful God said, “I am that I am.”  He didn’t say, “I do that I do.”  Who I AM and who you ARE is identity.  What you DO is not your identity and not as important.

I am grateful when I realized sexual intimacy is not a DO.  Long gone is the phrase, “Let’s DO IT.”  It’s a beautiful act of ‘being one,’ not, ‘doing one.’

I am grateful there is no longer hurt silence and we are connected.  Because of our joint effort in marriage reclamation, he can now discuss his emotions revolving around his physical need and I can hear him.  We still mess up about stuff, though, no perfection here.

I am grateful when God revealed to me why sex was so important to my husband.  I felt less like a piece of meat and more like a privileged wife.  Before this, I never realized how rejected my husband felt.

 I’m grateful for the moment I realized I had power over my limited sex drive.  With God’s help, I had the power to change my mindset.  I didn’t have to DO anything.    I didn’t have to have sex.  However, I could choose to be kind and understanding and realize that men aren’t just tall, hairy women.  They are biologically and organically different.   A loving wife chooses to understand her husband’s sex drive even when she doesn’t understand her own.  (AND vice versa, a man should understand about his higher drive wife, but this blog is for low drive wives.)
I’m grateful for the moment I realized I had value in spite of my limited sex drive.  In God’s ironic way, when I tried to grow my ability to desire sex, I learned that sexual intimacy isn’t the most important thing about our marriage.  Our reflection of Christ was the most important thing about our marriage.  (DUH, right?)  As a co-heir with Christ, God sees me as his beloved.  I discovered an unwritten fruit of the Holy Spirit, self-value.
I am grateful you and I both have things inside us our husbands crave.  They crave respect, peace, patience, kindness, joy, love, gentleness, self-control.  That’s true in reverse, too.  My husband’s sex drive is a physical manifestation of these needs.I am grateful to be chosen by God to offer hope.  God allows me to talk you about my struggle and victory with low libido and sexual misunderstanding.  God hands me a surprise every day.  The wonder is in unwrapping and finding out my mission, it always involves empowering women and sometimes it also includes clearing up sexual misunderstanding and low libido.  You are chosen for this same thing, but your mission may look different!

***********

If this is your first time visiting OysterBed7, Welcome!

Want to receive more posts follow me by email?  Subscribe in the right hand column.

Please see why sex is my focus, peruse the archives, and don’t forget to follow me via facebook fanpage or twitter (@oysterbed7).

4 Comments

  1. Chris
    Chris on November 20, 2014 at 8:44 pm

    I really love this, Bonny.

    • Bonny Logsdon Burns
      Bonny Logsdon Burns on November 20, 2014 at 10:07 pm

      God gave me the words today. Thanks, my friend!

  2. El Fury
    El Fury on November 22, 2014 at 10:38 pm

    One of the best one-liners I’ve heard about marriage is this: God didn’t design marriage to make us happy, he designed it to make us holy. Sounds like yours is working 🙂

    • Bonny Logsdon Burns
      Bonny Logsdon Burns on November 23, 2014 at 6:43 pm

      Thanks for your words. I think God designed marriage to be both and through my journey God revealed both. Good to see you, El Fury!

Subscribe and Never Miss a Post!