Happy 2^nd blogversary, OysterBed7!

What I have to offer this year is nothing like the juicy revelation of last anniversary when I shared my whole entire identity, including the identity of my husband, since we are halves of the same whole.

I also shared 25 Random Blog thoughts last year.  Revisiting my one year realizations, I’m relieved that some things have improved.

Jealousy is not as much of a concern. 

Occasionally, the green dragon takes me by surprise and rears its judgmental head.

What has helped diminish my competitive nature is taking the spotlight off ME.  Chris at Forgivenwife has helped me hone in on our audience.  (I say our audience, because as she mentioned in her one year anniversary post, our blogs complement each other very well.)  We are writing for the one woman who needs to see our story for that day.  My writing isn’t about numbers, it’s about truly making a difference in the life of one marriage.

“With Every Act of Love,” a song by Jason Gray has a line that strikes me hard.

“God put a million million doors in the world

For his love to walk through

One of those doors is you…”

Sharing my low-sex-drive-journey is my act of love for the one woman God sends to my door that day.  I know that there are a million other blog doors for the Lord’s love to walk through.  My competitive nature is more at bay because marriage and sex bloggers are all on the same team.

I’ve learned the best blogging etiquette is to just be a good community member.  

If I can help you in anyway, whether blogging, marriage, brainstorming, etc., email me at pearlmail3@gmail.com.

I’ve embraced my enthusiasm.

That’s just me and my personality.  I have learned to wait a few minutes before commenting on a piece if I’m really fired up.

I’ve embraced the type of writer I am.

I cannot write with a headache.  My best writing is before noon.  I am constantly toning down my ‘cutesy’ and innuendos.

I am a writer who needs a chunk of time.  I am giddy when a post just flows out of me, which happens maybe 20% of the time.

A post like, ‘Is He Comparing me to Former Lovers,’ takes four or five hours.  If it is a science based post, like ‘Why Sex?,’ I need a good 8 hours if not more.  If time is scarce, I don’t add graphics.

I am not prolific because of other real life obligations that fill my brain and seize my creativity and maybe, I’m just not prolific even without those things.

I used to get really frustrated when I didn’t have enough time to write.  Then, I realized if I only post once a week, I was less frustrated.

Posting frequently yields blog growth.  I was frustrated that O7 wouldn’t grow.  I relinquished control over to God to relinquish the frustration.  OysterBed7 will grow in the Lord’s time.

It’s not arrogant to say proudly, “I am a writer.”  Now, what would be arrogant is if I thought everyone agreed with me.  All kidding aside, I do take myself more seriously as a writer.  OysterBed7 isn’t a hobby.

I am intentionally shifting things in my real life to be able to write more.  God first, family second and career third, right?  Writing is now my career and that’s how I prioritize it.  If I am asked to do something when I need to write, I just tell people I have an appointment.  The Lord is tugging really hard right now.

I overheard my husband answer the question, “What does your wife do?”  He said, “She’s a writer.”  I was blown away.  He also digs through my purse to pass out my business cards.

The best thing that happened for OysterBed7 in 2013

I attended SheSpeaks, a Proverbs31 conference for ministry leaders, last summer.

Over the course of one weekend, O7 evolved from a blog to a full fledge marriage ministry.  My purpose was validated in real life.  I felt the Lord’s presence.  I was empowered and equipped.  Read more at Are You In The Mood to Wait? and Christian Sex Grassroots Paradigm Shift.

If you are a fellow blogger, I highly encourage you to find a conference of some kind to attend.  The energy of a group of fellow Christian writers is contagious and long lasting.   There is also the benefit of new skills learned and talents sharpened.

Final Thoughts

Writing anything consistently is a lot like consistent sexual intimacy.  After the initial surge of blogging adrenaline or honeymoon fervor, commitment is the glue.  If you want it to grow, you have to nurture it.

Sometimes, you are tired, but you want to meet the needs of others.

Sometimes, you are revved up and can’t contain yourself.

Sometimes, the sweet message the Lord has given you needs to be shared gently.  Sometimes, you are stressed and not emotionally there and it doesn’t happen.  But, you commit that it will happen within the next 48 hours.

If it’s important to you, you will make it happen.  It’s not always easy, but it is usually fun.

Oh, yeah, and writing about sexuality still helps my libido.