“Because he makes me laugh,” is one of the most common responses for why we fall in love.  I love to laugh and wanted to laugh with my prat-falling, pun-meister, Dave, for the rest of our lives.  I gasped, then laughed, the moment I first met Dave and he didn’t say a word.

Laughing with someone is a sign of connection.  You relax in their presence and feel safe to be yourself.

When the laughter dries up, there’s a good chance the sex has dried up, too.  For wives who struggle with sex, it’s tough to get in that sexy frame of mind unless we are feeling connected and relaxed.

Loving with laughter

“Loving with laughter sometimes is especially good for helping people under stress ‘lighten their load’, panicked people ‘get a grip’, and angry people not take things so seriously.  Loving with laughter can give needed relief by assisting people be, at least temporarily, distracted from physical and emotional pain, fear, anxiety, other bad feelings, and also from life’s problems and difficult situations,” Dr. Richard J. Cookerly.

This 2012 study at the Isfahan University Medical School, corroborates Dr. Cookerly’s quote above.  Laughter is a powerful and non-controversial way of helping someone feel better and see more light in the darkenss.  And, it’s cheaper than therapy!

Let Him Make You Laugh

Seriousness is not a fruit of the spirit, joy is!  Most everyone’s life is busy and hard.  But, having a hard life doesn’t exclude you from having a merry heart.

If hubby is feeling silly, join in the fun!  Don’t chide him for acting childish.

And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven,” Matthew 18:3.  I bet there are knock-knock jokes in heaven.

Woo Her With Cornball

I am an absolute sucker for corny pick-up lines.  To me those corny pick-up lines are words of affection, the cheesier the better.  The bonus is that corny pick-up lines can be used in front of the kids and when they are teenagers you get the added perk of their eye-rolls.

Dave and I picked up pizza to-go the other day.  When we got to the car, he said, “Can you hold the pizza?  Because, there’s no way it’ll cool off in your arms, hot stuff.”  I can hear your groans, but that corniness delighted me to no end.

I laugh at his cornball because I don’t think of myself as hot and steamy at all.  However, I love that HE sees me that way.  Give yourself permission to appreciate that he sees you as his beautiful babe, even if you don’t.

Try a few pick-up lines on him!  “Hey babe, Jesus tells us to feed the hungry.  Guess I need to take you out to dinner.”

Or, “Do you know why Song of Solomon had 700 wives?  Cause he never met me!”

Or, “You look so good today, I’m Philippian out!”

Laugh at your own blunders

Again, I’ll say, seriousness is not a fruit of the spirit, joy is!  Laugh at your own blunders.  Then, remember the scenario so you can re-tell it to your friends and they’ll be laughing with you.  Everyone needs a good funny story or two for social settings.

Bedroom blunders are the best.  But, these little stories might best be kept for the two of you to reminisce.

There’s a difference between laughing at yourself and laughing at someone else’s expense.  Laughing at someone else will never end well.

Laugh while you learn something new

Learning something new together is a great way to build connection and memories.

Why not learn to dance, together?  It promotes touch, exercise, eye contact, conversation, and laughter!

Check out this at-home video series, which I highly recommend!  It is designed to give the non-dancing husband confidence!

Laughter creates resilience

Resilience is the ability to recover from adversity.  Finding humor with someone who is enduring a common struggle, allows us to step outside of the pain and see it with a sense of ‘psychological distance.’

Our 1976 Datsun. May she rest in peace.

If you can find the grace within your heart to laugh with your husband about your common struggles, it makes it easier to cope.  You become two people looking at the adversity, not two people embroiled within the adversity.

When Dave and I first got married we had an 11 year old Datsun.  It got 40 miles to the gallon on leaded fuel.  It was a newlywed budget’s dream car.  It eventually developed two problems: A hole in the floorboard so puddles would splash upon the passenger and the inability to turn left.

We turned getting wet into a game.  The person who got splashed the most ‘won.’

We would laugh mapping out our routes, debating which would be the fastest with our new disability.  Our favorite excuse at the time was, “We would have been here sooner, but we could only make right hand turns.”

I loved that car.

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones,” Proverbs 17:22.

Laughter and Orgasm have more in common that you think.

A study of women at the Department of Psychology at the University of Albany in New York investigated an ensemble of traits that would lead women to act upon sexual interest with their partners.  The report states, “Her partner’s sense of humor not only predicted his self-confidence and family income, but it also predicted women’s propensity to initiate sex, how often they had sex, and it enhanced their orgasm frequency in comparison with other partners,”

Did you catch the end of the quote above that said funny men enhance the orgasm frequency of their wives?

Aside from the fact laughter and orgasm are both free tickets to a micro-vacation, they release the bonding chemical, oxytocin.  God made it this way.

Oxytocin is related to sexual desire and might be able to increase your physical desire, not just your desire to connect spiritually and emotionally.

Can’t afford that cruise to the Bahamas, then, laugh, girlfriends!!  Laughter helps you find hope.  Laughter helps you find the flirty side of life.  Laughter is a choice to see things differently.

Laughter creates the atmosphere for a low-libido wife to feel highly driven to connect with her beloved, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

And, of course, you can always find more laughs at our podcast, Sex Chat for Christian Wives, where we discuss the naked truth in a tasteful and humorous way.  Check out one of our earlier episodes, “Tending Your Garden.”