I’m Bonny Logsdon Burns. I’m so glad you found your way to OysterBed7.
My husband, Dave, and I have been married over 30 years. We grew up in the cornfields of Indiana, spent most of our married life on the coast of North Carolina and now reside amidst the palm trees of south Florida. We have three sons, two daughter-in-loves, and a sweetpea.
Not long ago, I was in a circle of women I’d known for awhile, but they hadn’t known Dave and I before. Going around the circle, we were asked to give a 5-minute life-story. I shared that I had a passion for hurting marriages because at one point, Dave and I were on the brink of divorce.
I didn’t expect the reaction of slack-jawed shock I received. One woman said, “I can’t even imagine you two arguing.” That made me snort because we’ve had some doozies, usually about sex.
I tell you this not to gloat but to give you hope. Our story wasn’t over and neither is yours. Low libido and miserable marriages aren’t permanent conditions.
God asked us to join him in transforming our marriage. At times it was miraculous and at times it felt like I was wielding a 100 pound hammer on a 100 degree day (i.e. hard work). Even so with God and practical tools, we built a better marriage and you can, too. That’s why I write about practical things you can do and think about.
My part in rebuilding our relationship was learning to understand the importance of sexual intimacy in marriage and then figuring out how to find my sex drive.
Dr. Henry Cloud says, “If you’ve been trying hard and hard isn’t working. Try different.”
If you are tired of the arguments about sex, I understand.
If you are trying to do everything in your power to emotionally connect and it’s still not happening, I understand.
If you’re mad and don’t care if you ever have sex again because of porn, I understand.
If you just wish you had a little more spark in the libido department, I understand.
I’ll make a deal with you. If you read without judging and try to lay aside your broken, angry heart, I may be able to help through God’s Word and science.
It’s hard work. However, there is hope through Christ. I know because I was just like you.
God slowly revealed why sex was important for BOTH of us. It is not just a physical release, but a spiritual bonding.
OysterBed7 has two focuses.
One is for the wife of a hurting marriage where sex is a major source of contention.
The other focus is the wife who knows that she has a low sex drive.
Both, a hurting marriage and a low-libido wife, need to know that there is hope.
Miserable marriages and low-libidos do not have to be permanent conditions.
“Know also that wisdom is like honey for you:If you find it, there is a future hope for you,and your hope will not be cut off,” Proverbs 24:14.
Other Random Facts:
We have three sons, twins and a spare. I have one granddaughter and everybody now calls me, Glamma.
I love pedicures and hate shoes.
I dislike yard work. Okay, let’s be honest, I loathe it. We live in zone 8, weeds and plants grow like they’re on steroids.
Mr. Muscle (a.k.a. Dave) and I are less opposites than we used to be. We share our faith in the Lord, love of music, laughter, delight in trying new foods and travel.
I have a certification in Christian Counseling.
I am in the process (as in finishing my pre-req’s) of getting my Master’s degree in Family and Marriage Therapy, but I’m not licensed, yet. So, be aware, I am not a licensed counselor, just someone who’s lived through some stuff.
Post-apocalyptic is my favorite genre of movie. I like to ponder if I would have the wits and guts to survive a zombie epidemic or alien invasion.
Genealogy is my continuing hobby (since 2000). I love the combination of history and family. It promotes great chit chat at parties. Only a genealogist would ask you what your mother’s maiden name is.
I was our church secretary for 10 years.
I love body glitter, sequins, pixie dust, rhinestones, and a moonlit ocean. If something sparkles, it’s my favorite. Dave rolls his eyes when I buy gold shoes.
Music is a part of my soul. It brings me to tears and gives me goodsebumps. I play a couple of instruments and love to sing and dance.
You can usually find me doing anything else but cleaning the house. I like to cook but it causes me to gain weight, so I avoid it.
Personal posts you might find interesting:
My WWII era parents were FEISTY.
Blessing of a Different Kind, Saying Goodbye to Dad
12 Things My Mom Said about Marriage
Be The Sunshine; the legacy I want to leave.
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“Unlock Your Libido: 52-week Sex Drive Transformation,” is now available on Kindle!
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First time visiting? Welcome!
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Four marriage and sex writers discuss the naked truth.
What does God really want for the sexual intimacy in our marriages?
