In the life of a marriage, at some point, the Superhero reveals the inner complexities of his/her psyche.  Batman’s underpinning really isn’t about justice.  He’s about serving revenge against those who murdered his parents.  Mystique uncloaks to reveal her blue form and yellow eyes.  She likes to take matters into her own hands.  Batman and Mystique can hurt the ones they love, mostly unintentionally.  Batman and Mystique are damaged goods.  Aren’t we all???

What happens when the masks come off and there is disillusionment?  How a marriage handles this revelation can make or break it.

Mr. Muscle and I were stripped of our Superhero costumes.  Dark workings were revealed.  The very thing I was subconsciously afraid of, happened.  I lost trust.  I was disillusioned (with BOTH of us).  Our life was in turmoil.

This is where choice comes in.  What’s the next step?  Batman and Mystique are weary.  How do you battle on?  With HOPE!

“No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in them; they cannot go on sinning because they are born of God,” 1 John 3:9.

Realize you are not battling each other.  You are battling against the forces in this world, behaviors that move us farther from God.  (See 5 Reasons Marriage is Targeted)  How does one push aside inner wounds in order to acknowledge the demons of the other, especially when those demons caused the wounds in the first place?

“This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment:  In this world we are like Jesus.  There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love,” 1 John 4:17,18.

Jesus will help you each lay aside the hurt so that in spite of the flaws, and because of them, you can build each other up and heal.  God will help you overcome your fear of pain to rebuild if you ask.

The blessing comes in the rebuilding.  We reconstructed our home as an invisible fortress over several years.  The foundation of which was solidly based on the Grace and Mercy and Forgiveness of Jesus Christ.  Invisible so that we could share with others the flaws of our life and how the love of Christ can transmutate a marriage between two sinners.

“So let God do his will in you.  Yell a loud NO at the devil and watch him scamper.  Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time.  Quit dabbling in sin.  Purify your inner life.  Quit playing the field.  Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out.  The fun and games are over.  Get serious, really serious.  Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet,” James 4:7-10 (The Message).

In restrospect, I was relieved and elated to discover Mr. Muscle’s complexities.  I came to know the WHOLE man.  Not just the charming and handsome exterior, but the dark and marred interior.  He let me in and trusted me with the most vulnerable part of his inner workings.  How could I not trust him again?  It helped me work through my inner Mystique, as well.

Our nemesis’ are still plotting and resurface occasionally.  We just have to keep on guard.  Bonny and Dave don’t have a corner on the ‘perfect’ market, FAR from it.  We’ve just learned to be persistent in our love.

What about our sexual intimacy during all of this?  Well, it took a nose dive for a while.  But, like I mentioned in “Why NO to Sex,” you cannot wait until everything is gleaming in Metropolis to restore that most important part of your union.  There was a direct correlation to our sexual fulfillment and our emotional reconnection.  It was just one more miracle God performed in our marriage.

Practical tools:

PRAY TOGETHER with your spouse.

PRAY for the truth to be revealed if ‘red flags’ are on your radar.

PRAY for complete, non-judgmental communication.

PRAY for true repentance within both of your hearts.

STUDY God’s Word together and discuss.

ROLL UP your emotional sleeves.  Love your spouse enough to want to help them overcome their issues, even if it is painful for both of you.  The pain will subside and joy will be restored as you align yourselves closer to God.

My Prayer for you beautiful ladies:

“Dear Lord, not all marriages are in crisis.  I pray that you bolster the marriage of the reader with honesty and unity and joy.  I pray that the lovely reader and her spouse can be Superhero’s for their marriage.  Brave with the courage of Christ to face tough issues and bare their failings for true healing, if needed.  I pray that the Holy Spirit be an all encompassing presence in their home.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Linking with The Alabaster Jar & Marital Oneness Monday
Linking with tolovehonorandvacuum Wifey Wednesday.