Our middle son, J, put his head together with the heads of several fine, upstanding, clueless, young friends and the team came up with a strategy of romance. Our oldest son (already married) gave his younger brother some valuable words of wisdom which solidified the plan.
The proposal was to be a big surprise for his beautiful girl. Because, the day he was asking her was his birthday. I was touched that J wanted help from his twin brother, his dad and I.
There is a quaint setting in an older neighborhood close to downtown Wilmington. It is not on the beach, but at a lake filled with cypress knees, alligators and moss. The brave can rent paddle boats. Historically, the lake was the mill pond of a 250 acre rice plantation owned by Dr. Samuel Green during the mid-1700s.
J’s older brother was married in this very same spot, called the “Fragrance Garden.” It was a glorious outdoor wedding. This would be the spot to see another enchanted Burns moment.
Mr. Muscle and I took the liberty of scouting out the location early in the day.
Mr. Muscle and I took the liberty of scouting out the location early in the day.
We said “Hey,” to the two homeless guys lounging in the gazebo. One showed us pictures of the morning’s visitor, an alligator, on his phone. And if it’s the same guy who was camped out when our son was married, his name is Bob. (As an aside, in the south, we say, ‘Hey,’ not ‘Hi.’ Surprisingly, there is a difference. As another aside, and another surprise, many homeless have cell phones, at least around here.)
Here’s yet another aside, J finally found the ring of his dreams at the pawn shop just two days earlier. My hairdresser just two days before that had suggested a certain shop in town to be reputable. One of her clients had worked there. My hairdresser also gave J tips on how to negotiate, thanks to said client. He got a sa-weet deal on a bee-utiful ring. Did you see last Thursday’s graphic? That’s the ring. (If you need pawn shop advice, email me.)
Anyway, back to the climactic event. After a birthday dinner of sushi, J said he wanted to take her the scenic route home. (Sometime later, she told me she was wondering why he was taking her through ‘the ghetto,’ actual quote.)
All the time they were dining on raw fish, the three of us had been procuring 2 dozen roses (thank you, Costco) and fifty votives with tea lights. I may be exaggerating a bit, but it seemed close to fifty. We placed votives around the art deco fountain in the center of the Fragrance Garden and tried to keep them lit. A light breeze with subtle fragrances of southern jasmine kept blowing them out. Stupid breeze.
Via intermittent one-word, coded texts, we were kept apprised of their progress. We finally heard a car door shut. We high-tailed it behind the bushes. I know those homeless guys were laughing at us.
J’s lovely lady trusts him completely and was compliant to follow even though she thought it was a sketchy neighborhood. She was surprised at the beauty of the garden. Thank goodness the pleased tone of her voice carried behind the bushes so I could hear. Then things got quiet and I had to stick my head out and pray she was too consumed with the moment to notice me or his brother, who was actually standing with a camera.
We had hid the ring under one of the benches surrounding the fountain. (The bench with the least amount of bird doo.) He knew which bench to go to because that’s where we placed the roses.
I stuck my head out from behind the bushes just in time to see my very handsome son, kneel his 6’1” frame to one knee. Frankly, I never thought I’d be allowed to witness this moment. I tread softly now that my sons are young men. I have always been aware that in order to gain daughters, I was going to have to take a backseat in their hearts. But, he wanted us there. He said so. He just wanted to make sure it was a surprise to her.
She was caught off guard and tearfully thrilled when he got down on one knee. He took her hand and this time, sound didn’t travel the distance, he spoke so softly. The gaze they held spoke all I needed to know. They are desperately in love. She reached down and cupped his face in her hands and kissed him through her tears.
And when she finally was able to say, ‘yes,’ we came out of hiding.
See a video tour of the Fragrance Garden, click here. Skip the advertising and start at 1 minute. You will see the fountain, the bench (one on the left was the wedding ring bench), the bushes (where we hit) and the gazebo. You don’t have to watch the whole thing.
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The romance here brings a smile to my heart. <3
It was such a blessing to witness!
Such a beautiful story and what a privilege to have been a part of it. When you said, “I tread softly now that my sons are young men. I have always been aware that in order to gain daughters, I was going to have to take a backseat in their hearts.” This is so true. I was blessed to receive such wise counsel when our son was about 10 (now 26) years old. In order to stay in your son’s life you must view their hearts as a hand off. You get to hold it and mold it until they choose a wife; then you hand it off to her to care for. – and here’s the hard part: step to the rear until you are invited back. There are so many mother and daughter-in-law relationships that could be awesome; but the power really lays within the hands of the mom to, as you say, “tread lightly.”
You are right, Robyn. The power lays in the older woman’s hands to nourish or destroy. Holding loosely seems like a risk. But, I think the kids see it as a nod of respect and trust. I’m working hard to intentionally build relationships with my dils.
This is a fantastic story! Love, love, love that he invited you and Dave to be there. As you know, I am in the same position as you – sons only, both of whom are now young men. So I know what you mean about treading carefully. Thanks for sharing this.
G, it was a moment I’ll never forget. I’m relishing getting to know the new future daughter. She has stolen our, Dave & my, heart’s too. 🙂 I look forward to hearing about when you meet your God-chosen daughters, too.
What a delightful sight! It makes my heart younger 🙂
Tina, witnessing young love is like time travel to the younger days! Thank you for sharing in our joy.