This is week 31 of Unlock Your Libido: 52-week Sex Drive Transformation.
This introductory post explains what it’s all about.
Zechariah 9:12, “Return to your stronghold, ye prisoners of hope; even today do I declare that I will restore double unto you.”
When the ship of our marriage was sinking, my husband and I had a moment of clarity. We didn’t see eye to eye on much, but we did agree that WE didn’t know how to fix it, because we had been trying and trying to no avail.
Utterly broken, as Zechariah says, all we knew to do was to, “Return to our stronghold.” Individually, we each found our way back to the foot of the cross.
I know not all marriages have this moment of clarity. This was our God moment. It didn’t come from the wisdom of our angry selves. It was the whisper of the Holy Spirit.
Outside of that moment of clarity, we were living in an atmosphere where I understood how divorce happens.
While I rested in Christ’s stronghold, he convicted me to slow my pace and to quit trying to fix it my way. He convicted me to still my very loud and busy brain. I was no longer in control. But, was I really ever in control?
He allowed me to start transforming through his gift of hope.
Zechariah continues with “Return to your stronghold, ye prisoners of hope…”
I became a willing hostage of hope. He told me, “YOU aren’t going to fix this, Bonny. I’M going to lead you to a renewed spirit and marriage.”
For hope’s sake, Christ showed me that I needed to change my perspective. I realized I was being called to change some natural tendencies. Tendencies I thought were spiritual, but in truth were not.
My #1 false belief was: Fostering marital sexuality is fostering the sinful flesh.
My verse to uphold this false belief was, Romans 8:6, “For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.”
Since the libido of my body was hit or miss (mostly miss), it was a belief I had no intention of letting go. I had myself fooled that I was even more spiritual and in-tune with God since I didn’t have the cravings of the flesh.
In rejecting marital sexuality, I was rejecting my husband and God’s plan. I didn’t see that enhancing my marriage bed was to be spiritually minded!
You may not be in a marriage with the conflict of differing sexual expectations. But, if you are, and you consider marital sexuality just a piece of fluff or not God honoring, you’re probably crushing your spouse’s spirit. The ship of our marriage was sinking, in part, because I was crushing his spirit.
I had to reach the point of brokenness to allow change. Then the Lord of hope could start transforming my sex drive through transforming my attitude toward it. It began with these verses:
“For your Maker is your husband – the LORD Almighty is his name – the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, he is called the God of all the earth,” Isaiah 54:5. This is just one example of the many, many references to the intimate husband/wife or bride/groom relationship we have with God. Why would scripture be full of these references if every aspect, including sexual intimacy, of marriage weren’t established by him?
Ephesians 5:21-33, but especially, 5:321&32, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.”
It’s a mystery! I have to have faith that there is a sacred and wondrous plan for marital sexual intimacy. There has to be! Why else would it be mingled as a comparison with our relationship with Christ?
Some people are gifted with innate understanding in this realm. But, if you’re not, the most growth occurs when we are called to undertake change in a way that confronts our false beliefs.
Zechariah 9:12 ends with..”Return to your stronghold, ye prisoners of hope; even today do I declare I will restore double unto you.”
Commentaries explain that the double portion or double blessing spoken of here really means total and complete.
The complete blessing of allowing the Lord of hope to transform your attitude toward sexual intimacy with your spouse is harmony and unity. What more could we ask for than to have the peace that passes all understanding to reside in our hearts and in our homes?
Week 31
“Return to your stronghold, ye prisoners of hope; even today do I declare I will restore double unto you,” Zechariah 9:12.
Affirmation (positive verb: transform)
I am a sexually charged wife. I allow transformation of my view of sexuality. Sexuality is a spiritual union with my husband. It was established by God and is not carnal.
Final Thoughts
What’s the Scripture and Affirmation about? Check out Unlock Your Libido: 52-Week Sex Drive Transformation.
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Agree the sex or connection of two bodies in a marriage is blessing by the god. One must not let it go away as curse. As god has choose two to unite via marriage then why deny the sex part of it.
You are right, Jacky, why deny? But, sometimes a false notion getin our brain and we must find our way back to truth.
This misunderstanding of “flesh and spirit” is quite common. It began with Augustine who took many of his ideas about the body and sexuality from the errors of the ancient Greeks. They made the body an evil thing in and of itself. The Bible, both Old and New Testaments, does not treat the body, and by extension, sexual desire as evil.
The evil part is the human spirit that tries to be God and have its own way to please itself. That is the battle that we fight. When you understand “flesh” to mean “I want my way to please myself” then passages like Romans 8:6 make sense.(“Carnal” is just another word for “fleshly.”)
The idea of the “flesh” in the New Testament when it is used of evil can be understood as the five senses. When we rely upon the five senses to make our decisions we are no more than animals. They eat, mate and act based upon “feelings” from the five senses. So sex becomes selfish, not because it is so by nature, but because it is cut off from the “spirit” – or God’s will and control. The spiritual man makes his decisions by God’s word, not just his 5 senses, therefore sex becomes holy because it is used for God’s purpose. A “spiritual” man, then, is not one who lives by his feelings as is often supposed – just the opposite – the spiritual man is one who lives by God’s word. The carnal or fleshly man lives by his feelings, not God’s word.
Therefore the body and sex, used for God’s purposes and by His design are good and holy, and should be nurtured. Sexuality used for my selfish purposes and in disobedience is evil because it is a misuse of the body (1 Corinthians 6:13-20).
Thank you for adding your knowledge. It’s pivotal to know that when we are living to please God, pursuing sexual desire with your husband is absolutely approved of by God! Thanks, Mike.