I see two important lessons in Dr. Nemec’s statement.

Women are distressed out there and feel bad…..

When our partner desires to engage in sexual intimacy and we are unable to feel the initial desire, we may feel less than adequate.  Maybe you haven’t been connecting emotionally lately and it’s hard to engage.

The desire and energy for sex crashes when we are coping with stress and anxiety.

This sets up a nasty cycle.

We have Low Libido.  We feel we are disappointing our husbands through our lack of desire.  We feel stress and anxiety because we feel we are disappointing our husband’s.  We have further low libido due to stress and anxiety.

If in spite of your low libido you are still trying to communicate with your husband and meet his sexual needs, you are not disappointing him.

They think something is wrong with them….

Normal is relative.

I think the most important thing I’ve gleaned in low libido research is that you are the low libido spouse in your marriage.  If you had married someone else, you may be the high drive spouse in your marriage.  Circumstances can still change.  There’s a possibility you could be the high drive spouse in your marriage.

There’s nothing wrong with you.  It’s just the dynamic of your unique marriage.

It doesn’t matter the origin of your low libido.  If your spouse has a great need for sexual connection and you are constantly striving to meet it, YOU ARE A SUCCESS!

What is important in your unique marriage is that you both strive to hear each other’s needs and communicate.  Selflessness plays a big role here.  That’s where our focus as Christian wives is different from the world.  The world tells us we need to have this insatiable desire for loud and hard sex.

The truth is we need to have an insatiable desire for being intimate with our Lord, first.  Through prayer and study, we can walk in character of Christ.  Loving with the love of Christ is the key to understanding selflessness in marriage.

Then, you can understand your husband and know that the unselfishness of sexual intimacy is spiritually and physically bonding.  The closer I walk with Christ, the easier it is to find my libido.  My libido is love.  Love covers over a multitude of sins and builds unity.

Scripture Meditation

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  Not as the world gives do I give to you.  Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” John 14:27.

Positive Affirmation (cling)

I cling to the knowledge that there is nothing wrong with me.  I cling to the knowledge I am becoming a sexually charged creature.  I cling to the knowledge that sexual intimacy and pleasure is God-ordained.