Your marriage can thrive, even if you have said, “I hate sex.”
My name is Bonny Logsdon Burns. I empower the wife with low sexual interest, little sex drive, and possibly a sexless marriage through science, scripture, and stories. You write what you know and I know about low sex drive and a struggle to connect. I also know that most thriving marriages have a frequent, consistent sex life.
My marriage has survived several very difficult circumstances. You’ll read about them throughout my posts. We’ve battled alongside the Lord to keep our marriage, not only in tact, but into godly health. What does a healthy marriage look like? That’s a lot about what I write about.
This blog, OysterBed7, launched in March, 2012. Since then, I’ve been helping hurting women as they respond to my articles and shared podcast. I’ve interacted through emails, phone calls, and small groups. In order to become more credible, I earned a Christian Counseling certification (not licensure) in 2015. In December, 2019, I completed a Bachelor of Science in counseling psychology from Liberty University. In July 2021, I completed ICF approved coaching classes.
Now, you can schedule an Zoom call with me for more personal attention.
My husband, Dave, and I have been married over 30 years. We have three adult sons. We still misunderstand each other, a lot, but we like to laugh and that has saved us many times. (There are more random facts at the end of this page.)
Our story wasn’t over and neither is yours.
Low sexual interest and miserable marriages aren’t permanent conditions.
God asked us to join him in transforming our marriage. At times it was miraculous and at times it felt like I was wielding a 100 pound hammer on a 100 degree day. With God and practical tools, we built a better marriage and you can, too. That’s why I write about practical things you can do and think about.
Dr. Henry Cloud says, “If you’ve been trying hard and hard isn’t working. Try different.”
My part in ‘trying different’ was looking at sex from a different viewpoint. I allowed myself to consider that sex was actually important to marriage. What evolved was that I learned, sex was for me, too. That’s when I started reclaiming my sexual self.
OysterBed7 has two focuses.
One is for the wife of a hurting marriage where sex is a major source of contention.
The other focus is the wife who knows that she has a low sex drive.
Both, a hurting marriage and a low-libido wife, need to know that there is hope.
Miserable marriages and low-libidos do not have to be permanent conditions.
“Know also that wisdom is like honey for you: If you find it, there is a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off,” Proverbs 24:14.
Other Random Facts:
We married young and had children early in our marriage.
I grew up surrounded by cornfields in Indiana, spent most of our married life on the coast of North Carolina, and now live in the foothills of east Tennessee.
I love pedicures and hate shoes.
I mostly dislike yard work. Okay, let’s be honest, I loathe it. Fortunately, lawn service isn’t too pricey here.
Dave and I are less opposites than we used to be. We share our faith in the Lord. We also love music, laughter, trying new food, and travel.
Genealogy is my continuing hobby (since 2000). I love the combination of history and family. It promotes great chit chat at parties. Only a genealogist would ask you what your mother’s maiden name is.
Music is a part of my soul. It brings me to tears and gives me goosebumps. I play a couple of instruments and love to sing and dance.
Cleaning house annoys me because it has the audacity to get dirty again. I love to cook, but when I do too much of that Dave and I both get fluffy around the middle. So, when we’re home we eat simple meals. We love to go out and try new restaurants.
