OysterBed7 once again welcomes, Hannah, from Becoming His Eve! Hannah’s home state is Colorado which is experiencing much devastation from flooding right now. She shares some thoughts about that and how it puts things in perspective.
Hannah’s writing talent and her spiritual gift of encouragement blends perfectly! Her heart for marriage is evident. Please read on as she helps us Awaken the Super in Our Men…
Let Him Know He’s Special
Affirming His Gifts
“You feel the need to carry the world on your shoulders, and that’s noble. But there are other people out there who want to help you fight the good fight, and you need to let them in. Because sometimes even heroes need to be saved.”
~Chloe Sullivan to Clark Kent in Smallville, S.6, Ep.8
Sometimes we forget where superheroes start. Batman watched his parents be killed in front of him as a boy. Spider-Man was a geeky kid whose poor choices got his uncle killed. Superman was an alien raised by humans because his home planet had been destroyed, and he lost his earthly father, Jonathan Kent. All of these heroes we know and love were affected by sin and pain. All those heroes we know and love had doubts about themselves and their purpose in the world. Yet they still fought to make an impact on the world. And they had people beside them helping them.
Your man has 5 very important needs:
4. His need to be special, and use his gifts to impact the world
5. His need for beauty
Sometimes in our crazy upside-down world, our husbands’ can lose perspective. Perhaps they struggle with feeling like they make a difference. This is where you come in – dear wife.
As his woman, you can awaken the “super” in your man by encouraging him to embrace and use his gifts to bless the world. You can affirm his need for purpose by reminding him just how much of a difference he does make in your life (and the lives of others).
Celebrate What Makes Him Unique
My husband is a genius (well, at least in my mind) when it comes to with fixing all things technical. He’s been tinkering with computers since he was a kid. He’s also good at helping people and making people feel important. He makes it a point to call friends he hasn’t talked to in a long time, just to check in and say hello. He makes it a point to occasionally check in with my family, especially my grandpa. When you talk with him, you can tell he’s really listening and he really cares. These are gifts.
Think about what your husband does well. Think about what his gifts and talents are. Do you encourage him to use these gifts? Do you uplift him by letting him know just how special he is?
Do you know your husband’s love language? I’d recommend you both take the quiz over on Gary Chapman’s site – The 5 Love Languages.
5 Practical Ways to Affirm Your Husband’s Gifts
1. Affirm him with words
If this is your husband’s primary love language, focus on verbal and written encouragement.
Give him one compliment about his talents each day this week.
If he’s got a knack for fixing things, praise his ability to fix things.
If he’s gifted with gaming, verbally admire his ability to “shoot down” the enemy.
If he’s skilled at pleasing you sexually, make sure you let him know this the next time you two go for a romp in the sheets.
Consider writing your appreciation in a note. I share here how to appreciate your spouse more verbally and how to write a love letter that suites your relationship best.
2. Affirm him through acts of service.
If this is your husband’s primary love language, focus on showing him love through doing things for him.
Are you appreciative of the “load” your husband carries for you (i.e. working to provide for you, paying the bills)? Help him take a load off by giving him a sensual massage.
Does your husband enjoy taking some free time and serving others? Arrange for an afternoon/evening for you two to go and volunteer for your community (i.e. through a church, soup kitchen, community center, homeless shelter, a local cause).
Is your husband a wonder in bed? Surprise him by converting your bedroom into a romantic oasis for the evening. Clear away the clutter, light some candles, turn on some mood music, and pull out “the good” sheets. Don some feminine apparel and invite him to the bedroom for some frolicking fun.
3. Affirm him through quality time together.
If this is your husband’s primary love language, focus on doing things with him.
Is your husband exceptional at planning date nights? Take the time to plan a special surprise date night for him. I share plenty of date ideas over at my blog – Becoming His Eve. (You can search via the type of date night you’re looking for also).
Do you appreciate the time your husband takes to work hard for you? Stop by his office at lunchtime and surprise him by taking him out for a meal on you, or make a special dinner to share together in the evening.
Perhaps your husband is gifted when it comes to sports.
Ø If the budget allows, arrange for tickets to a sporting event in your area.
Ø Take him to the park or local community center on a weekend afternoon and let him show off. Shoot hoops, ride your bikes, play tennis, kick the soccer ball around, throw the Frisbee, or play tackle or flag football.
Ø If he belongs to a team, whether professional or just for fun, show your support by coming to a game and cheering him on from the sidelines.
4. Affirm him through physical affection.
If this is your husband’s primary love language, focus on lathering on the physical love & attention.
Is your husband particularly helpful at helping you get ready in the morning? Set the alarm a little earlier and engage in wakeup sex.
Is your husband a good kisser? Remember when you were so in love you couldn’t get enough of each other? Thank him for those days with some lip-locking action. Remind him how much you love this talent of his by initiating a spontaneous make-out session.
Perhaps your husband is a trooper when it comes to running errands with you. Reward him with lots of hand holding in the grocery store, a surprise shoulder squeeze or pat on the posterior when walking back out to the car, and/or a ten-second lip-lock at a traffic light.
Is your husband a whiz at balancing the budget? Turn paying the bills into sexy fun by writing checks together, organizing files, or clicking through your online budget program in the nude.
5. Affirm him through gift giving.
If this is your husband’s primary love language, focus on tokens of appreciation.
Is your husband good at car maintenance and upkeep? Pick up a new car air freshener for him, or a tool he needs to continue good maintenance. Or make him a mix music playlist to listen to for
when he drives to work or works on the car.
Is your husband a pro at problem solving?
Ø Pick up a book of crossword puzzles is “wordsmithing” is his thing.
Ø Purchase a problem-solving game like Jenga (tumbling tower) or a logic game app for his phone.
Is your husband the creative type? Affirm his handiwork (i.e. hobby, music, art, craftsmanship, gardening, computer maintenance, etc).
Ø Select a unique gift to help his craft (i.e. tool belt for household maintenance, composition book if he’s a composer or an artist, a new potted flower for him to plant in the garden).
Ø If you can arrange it, try and find an event to go to with your husband. If he’s a writer, take him to a writing workshop. If he’s into music, get tickets to a favorite band of his. If he’s an artist, sign up for a pottery, sculpting, painting, etc class together.
Ø If he’s up late working on his craft or fixing things, leave him a little treat to enjoy in the late-night hours (i.e. his favorite candy bar). Brew his favorite night time coffee (or tea) to help him burn the midnight oil.
Ø If he has to go away for business, slip a love note into his suitcase and something to remind him of you (i.e. a photograph, a pillow case sprayed with your perfume, a new tie to wear to a meeting, or a new pair of boxers as an intimate reminder you’re thinking of him).
You Can Empower Him
“When you have a gift, you can’t just hide in a hole and hope it goes away.”
~Clark Kent in Smallville, S. 1, Ep.11
Now I’m not suggesting your man needs to don the red-and-blue and run all over your city to ‘save’ people. But you, as his wife, can be a powerful motivator for good through your love, support, encouragement, and respect. Your words, service, time, affection, and gifts can be used to bless and uplift your husband. You can help awaken the ‘super’ in your man by affirming his need for purpose and by letting him know how much of a difference (big things and little things) he makes in your life and the lives of others.
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Please jump over to Becoming His Eve and check out more ideas from Hannah.
About Hannah….
My name is Hannah Williams (a.k.a. Adam’s Eve) and I write a blog called Becoming His Eve. I am a spunky housewife married to a wonderful man of God and an amazing, loving sexy husband who gives big bear hugs and wonderful words of encouragement. And in ase you’re wondering, my husband’s name really is Adam. ;o) I have a passion for young women, writing, books, baking, nature, and music! I want to use my gifts, talents, and abilities to help transform relationships and communities for the Kingdom of Christ.
Great words, it would make any guy happy to be treated like you describe Hannah!