Welcome Hannah, from Becoming His Eve! I hope that you have blessed through Hannah’s words as I have been! Her gentle and positive encouragement radiates warmth and light. For me personally, an added blessing has been to get to know Hannah better. She is a sweet and beautiful young wife who wants to the Lord’s best for all she touches. I count her as a blogging sister.
Fulfilling Your Man’s Yearning for Beauty –
Jonathan Kent: Rule #1: Always practice away from the barn.
Clark Kent: But Dad, I don’t get it. I thought the point was to stop this from happening.
Jonathan Kent: Well, in order to find the off switch, first we need to find the on switch.
In season 2 of Smallville, Clark Kent discovers he has heat vision powers. These are triggered by hot things… well more specifically, hot women. His dad, Jonathan tries to help his son master control of heat vision by setting a scarecrow out in the field and having him hone his skills – shooting flames from his eyes at will.
What causes your man’s “heat radar” to go from zero to 100 in 60 seconds?
Just as thinking the name of Lana (Clark’s first love) caused his heat vision to spike, you want your husband to find your nameand the words ‘sexy,’ ‘beautiful,’ and ‘hot,’ to be synonymous.
Now you may be lamenting – I feel more like a hot mess than a hot woman!
We’ve been focusing on what you can do for your man in meeting his 5 needs:
5. His need for beauty
Over the next few posts, we’ll talk about how you can awaken the super in your man by embracing your womanhood, unveiling your beauty, and arousing his desire. Today we’ll focus on what you can do for you… that will also bless your man. Ladies, we are going to channel some confidence and bring out the inner tigress in you!
Embracing Your Womanhood – Confidence is Sexy!
I’ve never been a girly-girl. In college, I preferred hanging with the guys on weekend nights, watching action movies over chick flicks, and avoiding all-things-pink like the plague. Don’t get me wrong! I still love action movies, and I still get so into football that I think it scares my husband, but you might actually find a hint of pink in my wardrobe. What changed?
Confidence is sexy!
Being with Adam made me want to connect with my ‘inner woman’ and allow myself to embrace feminine things.
Be confident in what you do…
… whether you take care of the five kids at home or work a 9-to-5. Both can empower you as a woman.
Concentrate on what you can do instead of what you can’t do.
Take a moment and think about a ‘good day’ you’ve had recently. Why was the day good? For me, my good days recently have consisted of days where I’ve started with devotions, completed plenty on my to-do list, and managed some down-time. I feel confident because I feel accomplished and relaxed.
Think about what makes you feel confident in the things you do. Your confidence in your abilities will start pouring over into how you speak to your husband, how you act around him, how you approach sex, and how your husband treats you.
Be confident in your body!
Psalm 139:14 calls us “fearfully and wonderfully made.” You are beautiful, even without your makeup on, your hair done up, and even when you’re hip deep in the glorious mess of your home (and let’s be honest – who doesn’t have a messy home on occasion?).
Grab a mirror and ask yourself: What is my favorite feature on my body?
My favorite feature is my long natural red hair. Although I don’t do this often, wearing my hair flowing and free makes me feel sexy, feminine, and beautiful.
Whatever this feature is on your body, enjoy it! Do something tonight to celebrate this feature you love – for me, this is as simple as wearing my hair down. Do you like your lips? Try a fresh & fruity lip gloss for fun. Delighted in your blossoming bust? Don a pretty brassiere. Lovin’ your long legs? Put on those heels that accentuate them.
When I was first married, I lounged around the house for most of the day. I didn’t get dressed. I didn’t brush my teeth. I lamented about how ‘sucky’ I felt when my husband was around. It was awful. The change began slowly. I started getting dressed in the morning. I’d make the bed. I brushed my teeth and fixed my hair. Maybe I wouldn’t put on makeup, but I might put on jewelry. I found this motivated me to get moving in the morning, and made me feel better about myself. One morning, I was fixing a bowl of cereal (nothing fancy), and Adam came up behind me, sniffed my hair, and said, “Mmm… you smell good.” After that, I made it a priority to do these things that make me feel good, because in turn, it blessed my husband… and turned him on! ;o)
When you allow yourself to do the things that make you feel beautiful on a regular basis, you become more confident!
Be confident in who you are!
Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
We typically think of this verse as referring to the way we talk to others, but it applies to how you talk to yourself too. When you talk down to yourself, you wreak havoc on your confidence. Instead of complaining and tearing yourself down, extend yourself grace.
I’ve never liked my knees. It’s kind of a weird phobia of mine – exposing my knees in public. But I am about to do something daring. I’m going to let my knees out for once. Eek! Once a month, I’m going to wear a skirt (or shorts or dress) that stops above my knees.
When I’m working my assets instead of complaining about all my bodily flaws, my husband can’t keep his eyes off me (and he wants to stay in the room longer too).
Now it’s your turn. Pick one bodily imperfection or something you dislike. Then dare to do something crazy – embrace it! Don’t like your toenails? Try a pretty polish. Dislike your booty? Wear sexy lingerie. Whatever you dislike about your body, let go of your negative feelings toward it. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful anyway.
Take care of yourself!
When we women struggle with our self-confidence, it’s super evident. We treat ourselves differently. We treat others differently. Jesus says to love our neighbors as ourselves. Women tend to focus on taking care of others. Sometimes we love our neighbors a lot more than we love ourselves. Sometimes we forget to love ourselves altogether.
There’s nothing wrong with taking time to be womanly. Yes, your husband, your kids, your job, your home, and your pets are important. But if you never take a moment for yourself, you really are shooting yourself in the foot.
I have a bad habit of getting so enraptured in my work that I forget to stop and eat, shower, or sleep. I’m grouchy. I’m exhausted. I snap more easily. These things are not a good foundation for loving and serving others.
Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit [1 Corinthians 6:19-20]. You can’t be at your personal best if you don’t take care of your body. While I’m not denying the great power of God, He can do greater things through you if you aren’t frazzled, sleep-deprived, and starving. Even Jesus retreated from the crowds and His work at times.
Glorify God with your body by making sure you’re getting adequate rest [Psalm 4:8], you’re well-fed [Ecclesiastes 2:24-25], and getting quiet time [Psalm 46:10; Psalm 143:8; Matthew 6:6].
Give yourself permission to be a woman.
I know. It sounds silly when you say it like that. But you are a woman! Embrace that!
Every woman has a different definition of what it means to be a woman. Think about what makes you feel feminine. Make a list. Don’t compare yourself to your mom, or his mom, or your friends, your pastor’s wife, or your daughter. This is about you!
I’m not suggesting you don a dress and pearls and bake casseroles every night in high heels if ‘normal’ is a box of Shells & Cheese and watching the evening news. I’m also not suggesting that if you and your husband still like to yell at the referees during the football game on TV and chest bump when your team scores that it makes you any less of a woman. You don’t have to be Susie Homemaker or change your typical-manly-activity-loving ways in order to make your husband feel like Superman. Be yourself. Be confident in who you are!
You Can Empower Him… When You’re Empowered
Your confidence in your abilities, in your body, and in yourself as a woman will rock your man’s world! When you feel good about yourself, this spills out into the way you think, speak, act, and love. When you take care of your body and you embrace your womanhood, you not only awaken the ‘super’ in your man, but also the ‘super’ in yourself. Now that’s sexy!
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Please jump over to Becoming His Eve and check out more ideas from Hannah.
About Hannah….
My name is Hannah Williams (a.k.a. Adam’s Eve) and I write a blog called Becoming His Eve. I am a spunky housewife married to a wonderful man of God and an amazing, loving sexy husband who gives big bear hugs and wonderful words of encouragement. And in ase you’re wondering, my husband’s name really is Adam. ;o) I have a passion for young women, writing, books, baking, nature, and music! I want to use my gifts, talents, and abilities to help transform relationships and communities for the Kingdom of Christ.
Wonderful post Bonnie & Hannah! I am going to add a link to it on my Recommend Reading page. It was very well written!
Hannah gets all the credit for this lovely post!!
Thank you so much for the promo! I appreciate it! I’m glad you were blessed by it.
this is so true, we control much of the emotional atmosphere in the home and when we’re sad it leaves a lot on his shoulders to pick up the slack. It’s amazing how much a change of outfit can do for our confidence level. I’ve been watching “What Not To Wear” on TLC and the change of the women from sloppy to sleek is amazing, especially in their attitudes.
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You’re absolutely right. When we’re sad, our husbands have to pick up the slack and that’s not necessarily a healthy environment. I find when I don’t take care of myself, I don’t feel sexy and I don’t initiate sex or I don’t want sex period. I also prime situations for potential arguments when I’m frazzled or exhausted or stressed. And I’m unable to love my husband the way he needs loved. Thanks so much for visiting and commenting, Sis. Blessings to you!
I used to watch Carson Kressley on How to Look Good Naked when it was on. The part that really fascinated me was when he would have the women place themselves where they perceived they belonged in a body image line-up. They always placed themselves in a position that was more negative to them than reality warranted. They saw their bust as smaller, their hips as wider, their thighs or stomachs as larger. or their rears as bigger. They makeovers and glamor shots at the end were just positive reinforcing icing on the cake, especially with the men and women on the street comments. I wish the show was still on. It was such a positive show for women with distorted body image perceptions.
We, women, are much much more critical about our bodies than men are. I think a lot of that is due to the negative media out there that says we have to be a certain (unrealistic) way. I am trying really hard to reclaim a positive body image and to encourage women and girls out there to do the same. Realistic women don’t have to be supermodel skinny or wear lots of makeup or have the hourglass shape to be attractive and beautiful. I agree. I think there needs to be more positive, realistic images of women out there promoted by the media.
Great ideas and encouragement, Hannah and Bonny! Looking good, playing up our attributes, dressing and acting in ways that make us feel attractive – all of these build confidence, which can help build sexiness. Thanks so much for sharing this.
Thanks for visiting Gaye! I’m glad you were blessed by this post. Blessings to you!