Awaken the Super in Your Man: Love, Honor and Respect

OysterBed7 once again welcomes, Hannah, from Becoming His Eve! Hannah is a perky kindred spirit. She has graciously offered a series of posts while I am traveling for family obligations.

Hannah’s writing talent and her spiritual gift of encouragement blends perfectly! Her heart for marriage is evident. Please read on as she helps us Awaken the Super in Our Men…

Affirming the Modern Superhero: Awakening the Super in Your Man, Part 3B

Love, Honor, and Respect

“Clark, you’re my best friend. Until I met you, I never had a best friend. And falling in love with you has been so easy, I don’t know why I fought it for so long. You have such gentle grace; such quiet strength; but mostly, such incredible kindness. I’ve never known anyone with as pure a heart. So today, I give you my love, my honor… and our life together,” Lois Lane.

These are the words Lois Lane, Clark Kent/Superman’s long-time love, speaks at their wedding ceremony in the 1996 Season 4 episode of Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman: Swear to God, This Time We’re Not Kidding. What a wonderful thing to say to your future husband and lover!

I remember my wedding day. Adam and I spoke beautiful words to one another as we pledged our lives together – for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part. The words are easy to say, but the actions behind them are a whole lot harder.

When you struggle with financial freedom, when you can’t seem to get through the day without arguing, when your wife suffers from a lifelong condition or your husband is laid off work because of an injury, remembering your wedding vows may be the last thing on your mind. But you must remember them! Remember the man you fell in love with, the man you walked down the aisle to, and the man you pledged to spend the rest of your life with. Love, honor, and respect him!

Your husband has 5 big needs:

He needs to know he is strong.

He needs to know he matters.

He needs to be taken seriously

He needs to be respected as a man.

He needs to know he’s special.

He desires to capture the heart of his beauty

Last week, we talked about how men are created to lead, provide, and protect. The greatest way to love your husband is to respect him as a man.

The second greatest way to love your husband is to treat him with respect through your words.

Uplift Him with Your Words.

R – Recognize when to speak

Before you can speak, you need to know when to speak. Timing is everything. Trying to talk to your husband when he is busy working on something, when you’re both trying to sleep, or when he’s on his way out the door isn’t respectful and won’t be effective.

Proverbs 12:18 (ESV) says, “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

E – Encourage him

Encourage your husband verbally. He needs to hear your kind words frequently. I like to remind my husband how why I love him regularly. I also compliment him often – telling him how sexy he is, what a hard worker he is, and how he’s a wonderful man of God. You don’t need to butter him up, but do let him know he’s appreciated. He especially needs to know he’s important, loved, and admired when he’s had a bad day, when he’s struggling at work, when he’s feeling discouraged, and when he’s dealing with loss and pain.

“…encourage the disheartened…” 1 Thessalonians 5:14.

“Encourage one another daily… so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness,” Hebrews 3:13.

S- Speak the truth in love

If you have to confront your husband, be sure to do so respectfully. There’s a right and a wrong way to speak. Yelling at your husband, picking an inappropriate time, calling him names, and criticizing him among other things is the wrong way. Be honest with your husband, but be kind with your words.

“…(by) speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of…Christ. From Him, the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work,” Ephesians 4:15-16.

You are a part of the Body of Christ, and so is your husband. When you got married, the two became one. You and your husband are one and must strive for oneness. When you aren’t on the same page, speak to your husband as you would like to be spoken to – in love and in truth.

“Love is patient. Love is kind… Love doesn’t delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth,” 1 Corinthians 13:4, 6.

P – Protect his good name

Clark Kent: I can’t believe they’d risked everything coming out to defend me.

Chloe Sullivan: You have no idea how much you mean to people, Clark Kent.

~Smallville, S10, E13

Clark Kent’s friends and family defended his good name and protected his secrets out of love. Being in an intimate relationship with your husband, you are privy to his most private thoughts and feelings, his strengths and weaknesses. Protect him with your words. Don’t vent your frustrations about your husband to your girlfriends. Only speak good things about your husband. Don’t spill your husband’s failures and faults to others, but instead uplift him by highlighting his strengths and assets.

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear,” Ephesians 4:29.

E – Express frustrations in a healthy way

Go to God first when you’re frustrated. Acknowledge the log in your own eye before you go plucking at the speck in your husband’s. Spend time in prayer and in God’s Word before you ever confront your husband. Remember anger is never a justification for sinful words. And when you do, assure your husband you love him, listen to what your husband has to say, and respond respectfully.

“Cast your anxiety on Him because He cares for you,” 1 Peter 5:7.

“A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back,” Proverbs 29:11.

“Be angry and do not sin,” Ephesians 4:26.

“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you,” James 4:7.

C- Communicate kindly

Watch your tone of voice, eye contact, and posture. Communication is way more than just the words that come out of your mouth. Make every effort to be peaceable and work toward unity.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger,” Proverbs 15:1.

“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue,” Proverbs 31:26.

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience,” Colossians 3:12.

T – Take the time to talk and listen regularly

Set aside time daily to talk with one another. My husband and I like to spend time together doing an activity, talking, and praying together before bed each night. Quality time and communication is critical to a marriage, but don’t forget to listen.

“Pleasant words are a honey comb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones,” Proverbs 16:24.

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver,” Proverbs 25:11.

“Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few,” Ecclesiastes 5:2.

You Can Empower Him

Just as Clark was overwhelmed with how people rushed to his defense, overwhelm your husband with kind, loving, respectful words. Your words are powerful. Proverbs 18:21 tells us that the tongue has the power of life and death. What you say has a great impact on the kind of man your husband is. Remember the words you spoke in your vows, and live every day in love, honor, and respect. Use your words wisely to bless your husband, uplift him, and boost his confidence.

*Come back next week as we’ll talk about how to respect your husband by honoring him with your actions.

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Please jump over to Becoming His Eve and check out more ideas from Hannah.

About Hannah….

My name is Hannah Williams (a.k.a. Adam’s Eve) and I write a blog called Becoming His Eve. I am a spunky housewife married to a wonderful man of God and an amazing, loving sexy husband who gives big bear hugs and wonderful words of encouragement. And in ase you’re wondering, my husband’s name really is Adam. ;o) I have a passion for young women, writing, books, baking, nature, and music! I want to use my gifts, talents, and abilities to help transform relationships and communities for the Kingdom of Christ.