OysterBed7 once again welcomes, Hannah, from Becoming His Eve! Hannah is a perky kindred spirit. She has graciously offered a series of posts while I am traveling for family obligations.
Hannah’s writing talent and her spiritual gift of encouragement blends perfectly! Her heart for marriage is evident. Please read on as she helps us Awaken the Super in Our Men…
Awaken the Super in Your Man, Part 3A.
Take Him Seriously
“You have to decide what kind of man you want to grow up to be, Clark. Whoever that man is, he’s going to change the world.”
~Man of Steel
Don’t all little boys want to grow up to change the world? They want to be superheroes! But being a superhero isn’t always easy. Even in the television series Smallville, Superman is portrayed as young Clark Kent who struggles with being normal – torn between being a simple, corn-fed Kansas boy and an alien from an advanced race with abnormal superhuman powers.
While your husband probably doesn’t have to struggle with an identity crisis of this magnitude every morning when he gets out of bed, but he may still want to make a difference and be respected for it.
We’ve been going through the 5 biggest needs for a man:
3. He needs to be taken seriously.
4. He needs to know he’s special.
5. He desires to capture the heart of his beauty
Today we’re going to talk about his 3rd need – affirming his need for respect.
{SPOILER ALERT}
In Smallville Season 5 episode Reckoning, Clark laments over the loss of his earthly father, Jonathan as he is unable to save both his dad and the woman he loves from death. As Clark and his mother, Martha, prepare for Jonathan’s funeral, Clark confesses he doesn’t know if he can be the man his father wanted him to be. Martha replies,
“You’re his son. You know what’s right and wrong. And whether your father is here with us or not, you’re a man he’s proud of… a man he can look up to. And something tells me he won’t be the only one.”
As the woman in your husband’s life, you’ve been placed in an important position – to respect him, look up to him, and admire him like no other person can. Your husband needs to know that his person, his ideas, his talents, his strengths, and even his emotions are important and are taken seriously. He needs to know that he is a man – a man of integrity, a man the world can look up to, a man who is deeply respected by his wife.
How can you help affirm his need to be taken seriously – his need for respect? I have three points I want to cover, but I’m actually going to split this into two posts. Today I’m going to talk about how to let your husband be a man.
Let Him Be a Man
Too often we women think we can change our men. We have all seen her, or have been her – the young naïve bride who thinks that once she’s walked down the aisle, her new husband will start doing ‘x,’ or stop doing ‘y,’ or grow into the ‘z’ department. But no wedding band, legal document, or ceremony will change any man. You can’t change your spouse.
You didn’t marry your husband so he could act like you, think like you, feel like you, communicate like you, seek God like you, or even love like you. Men have a whole different set of thoughts, feelings, communication styles, habits, desires, needs, and ways to love.
Jesus tells us in Mark 12:30 that the second greatest commandment is to love our neighbors as ourselves. You can’t get any more neighborly than the man you share a home, a bed, and a life with – your husband. Your treatment of and expectations for him should measure up to this commandment. Men were created to lead, provide, and protect. The greatest way to love your husband is to respect him as a man.
Let him lead you.
Listen to his guidance & trust his leadership. A wife was never created to just take over! This is part of the curse of Eve – the husband rules (or lords, depending on the translation) over her. We desire to be in control as women, but the Bible warns against this. Proverbs 14:1 says, “A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears her’s down with her own hands.”
Recognize your husband’s leadership – he is the head of your marriage and the head of your household. I used to think this was demeaning to the wife, but now that I’m married, I realize there’s no way I’d want all that responsibility – to lead, protect, and provide for me. God certainly knew what He was doing when He created a man’s role.
Ephesians 5:22-23 says, “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior.”
The passage continues to tell us how a husband is to love his wife: by giving himself up for her as Christ did for us, to make her holy, blameless, pure, and to present her blameless and radiant. God designed a husband to lead his wife as Christ leads the Church. What a beautiful picture!
Let him provide for you.
Appreciate your husband’s work. Ecclesiastes 3:13 says that there is nothing better for a man than to “find satisfaction in all (his) toil.” I regularly tell Adam how grateful I am for how hard he works, and I thank him, not only when he uses his hard earned money to pay our bills and keep a roof over my head, but also when he gives me gifts and spoils me. Just yesterday we went out on a date afternoon – lunch at a nice restaurant, frozen yogurt, and a matinee. My husband could’ve just stayed home on his day off, but instead he chose to do something nice for us.
My husband was without a job for almost three months last year. While it was rough, I tried my hardest to stay positive and look on the bright side of things. We were able to spend more time together than we ever had before, and we grew closer together in the Lord. If your husband is down and out, don’t let it get you both down. Find something he is doing (like mowing the lawn, taking care of the kids, job hunting) and thank him.
Even if he does have a job, the workplace can be hard for a man. This is part of his curse – thorns & thistles in his work, and his labor will be hard. Be his cheerleader – support him from the sidelines, be thankful for his provision, and let him know he’s making a difference.
Let him protect you.
As a woman, we are naturally more petite and delicate. We aren’t quite as physically strong as men, and that’s okay. That doesn’t make us weak. A man framework – his body – was specifically designed to be protecting. I appreciate it when Adam carries things that are too heavy for me, and when he walks on the outside of the sidewalk to ‘protect’ me from the road.
We live in a postmodern world and our society has been heavily influenced by feminism. I’m all for girl power (you go, girl!) but I believe we’ve lost something very important – something that goes all the way back to creation.
In Genesis 2:23, Adam calls Eve, “bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh.” This all goes back to the 2nd greatest commandment – loving your neighbor as yourself – and the Ephesians 5 passage. A husband is to love his wife as himself and protect her as he would himself. Let your husband carry the heavy things – physically, relationally, and spiritually.
Let your husband protect you from over-extending yourself in relationships. Too often, I find myself taking on way more than I can handle because I want to help people. While my husband also likes to help people, he also knows when he can’t handle something and can say ‘no.’ Learn to listen to your husband when he tells you to let something go or to opt out. I can’t thank my husband enough for the countless times he’s saved me unnecessary frustration, exhaustion, and emotional turmoil by telling me to say no to something or someone.
Let your husband protect you spiritually. When I’m feeling the Devil’s attacks or I feel like I’m giving into His lies, I ask my husband to pray over me. Not only is my strength renewed, not only do I not feel alone, I also feel more cherished than I do any other time. Why? Because my husband is protecting me! Let him know when you’re struggling with a particular sin, and ask him to keep you accountable (James 5:16).
You Can Empower Him!
Your husband can change the world – maybe not on the scale Clark Kent can – but he can make a huge difference in the lives of those around him starting at home… starting with you. You have the power to help him impact the world and it all starts with respecting him. Respect his leadership, respect his provision, and respect his protection. Let him be the man God created him to be!
Come back next week as we’ll talk about how to respect your husband by uplifting him with your words and honoring him with your actions.
**********
Please jump over to Becoming His Eve and check out more ideas from Hannah.
About Hannah….
My name is Hannah Williams (a.k.a. Adam’s Eve) and I write a blog called Becoming His Eve. I am a spunky housewife married to a wonderful man of God and an amazing, loving sexy husband who gives big bear hugs and wonderful words of encouragement. And in ase you’re wondering, my husband’s name really is Adam. ;o) I have a passion for young women, writing, books, baking, nature, and music! I want to use my gifts, talents, and abilities to help transform relationships and communities for the Kingdom of Christ.
As the woman in your husband’s life, you’ve been placed in an important position – to respect him, look up to him, and admire him like no other person can. Your husband needs to know that his person, his ideas, his talents, his strengths, and even his emotions are important and are taken seriously. He needs to know that he is a man – a man of integrity, a man the world can look up to, a man who is deeply respected by his wife.
Such a GREAT reminder…your entire post was wonderful. Thank you, dear Hannah. Linking from Messy Marriage. Blessings to you and your Mr. Muscle!! 🙂
Our husbands really do want to be the heroes in our lives. I’m so grateful for the way you’ve included all sorts of ways to make our men feel appreciated, needed and “manly!” I think this isn’t probably discussed nearly enough, Hannah. I’m so glad that you’ve shared/linked this with Wedded Wed too. Not only am I grateful that you’ve been highlighted here at Bonny’s place but I’m also glad to be highlighting Bonny’s amazing blog over at Wedded Wed. Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom and passion for your man, Hannah! It’s always so evident in all that you write, my friend!