OysterBed7 once again welcomes, Hannah, author of marriage encouragement at Becoming His Eve!
Hannah is a delightful young wife. Her outlook is full of son-shine. She continues to graciously offer this series of posts on Awakening the Super in Your Man.
Hannah’s writing talent and her spiritual gift of encouragement blends perfectly! Her heart for marriage is evident. Please read on as she helps us Awaken the Super in Our Men…
Affirming the Modern Superhero: Awakening the Super in Your Man, Part 3C
What in the World Does Honor Mean?
“The real test of honor isn’t how you die. It’s how you live,”
Superman to Drega in Justice League: War World: Part II
Honor is something that must be experienced and lived in order to truly understand what it means. You learn to honor your husband by doing, not by thinking or feeling, not by definition or principle.
Your husband has 5 big needs:
He needs to know he’s special.
He desires to capture the heart of his beauty.
We talked about how to respect your man as he was created to lead, protect, and provide. We also talked about how to respect your man with your words. Today we’ll talk about how to respect your husband through your actions.
Honor Him with Your Actions
R- Remember the Golden Rule
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Matthew 7:12
Romans 12:10 encourages us to “outdo one another in honor.” Does this mean you should make it a contest in your home? No, probably not because of what Philippians 2:3 says, “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”
Constantly strive to treat your husband with integrity, and continue to honor him more as you grow together.
E- Engage in personal relationship with Christ
As you grow in Christ, your honor for your husband grows also.
Proverbs 21:21 says, “Whoever pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity, and honor.”
Matthew 6:24 encourages us to “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.”
Paul urges us in Romans 12:1 to “offer your (body) as a living (sacrifice), holy and pleasing to God – this is your true and proper worship.”
Honor your husband by first seeking a relationship with God, and everything else will fall into place.
S- Serve Willingly
When I was first married, I hated housework. I’d complain, manipulate my husband to do what I didn’t want to, whine, avoid, and just was plain lazy. Dishes would stay piled in the sink for weeks, and laundry would never be put away. Now, I don’t exactly love doing chores now, but I have a whole different attitude than I did before. What changed? My willingness to serve.
If we can learn anything from Superman it’s that he sacrifices humbly. In the opening episode of Season 5 of Smallville, Clark Kent’s friend, Chloe tells him what she thinks of him.
Chloe: Clark… I think you’re so amazing. You save people’s lives and take zero credit for it. To me, you’re more than just a hero. You’re a super hero.
Clark: Chloe–
Chloe: I’m serious, Clark. If more humans were like you, the world would be a better place.
Clark Kent serves others willingly and humbly, without looking for a pat on the back, an award, or a front page by-line. He serves because he cares about people.
This is what Jesus is telling us when He says that the greatest among us is the servants (Matthew 23:11). Personally, I want to be counted among the greatest, not for recognition or gain, but because I love being a blessing to my husband.
Proverbs 11:25 says, “Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will be water himself.”
Proverbs 31:10-12 says, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.”
Dear wife, be your husband’s precious jewel: serve willingly and joyfully for the reward is far greater than anything earthly.
P- Practice what you preach
It’s hard to expect your husband to respect and love you when you don’t respect him. You cannot demand respect. Respect is something that must be freely given.
Dr. Emerson Eggrichs explains this concept in his book, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires: The Respect He Desperately Needs. He calls it the Crazy Cycle:
“Without love, she reacts without respect and without respect, he reacts without love.”
Colossians 3:12-14 says, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
Do you remember these articles of clothing when you’re getting dressed in the morning? Put on the patient blouse. Fasten the buttons of humility. Wear the necklace of compassion around your neck. Write gentleness and kindness on your heart every morning just as you’d wear your wedding ring. Wear the shoes of forgiveness that equip you to step forward in love.
If the amount of patience you have with your husband is too tight (short fuse) your compassion has been stretched thin (mean-spirited), your gentleness is busting at the seams (harshness), and/or your humility just doesn’t fit anymore (pride), you need some one-on-one time with God, asking him to search your heart and “re-dress” you for the day.
E- Engage in Marriage-Affirming Community
~Surround yourself with marriage-positive friends.
~Be careful who you spend time with – people who constantly put down their spouse/fiancé/boyfriend, who whine and vent about marriage, or just have an overall negative attitude toward marriage aren’t people you should be hanging around.
~Be careful who you divulge your “dirty laundry” too. Don’t just vent to someone because you’re upset. This isn’t honoring. First take things to God and spend time in His Word. Then, speak to a trusted older godly woman if you must seek counsel.
~Regularly get together with other married couples to fellowship, support, pray for, and encourage one another.
C- Create a lovely home
Mark Driscoll, lead pastor of the Mars Hill Church, talks about making your home an oasis in his video series The Peasant Princess and encourages couples to ask one another what this looks like. When I asked my husband I was surprised at his answer. I was expecting something about a clean, organized home, which was lower on his list, but his top thing was having me greet him enthusiastically when he arrived home.
After a long day at work, our men need affirmation and relaxation. Dumping the day’s problems on him immediately or a to-do list right after he’s come through the door isn’t honoring. Take the time to freshen up before he arrives, and greet him with a hug and a kiss. Don’t forget to say I love you. While keeping your home neat, organized, and beautiful is important, welcoming your husband with open arms is the first step to creating a lovely home – your oasis.
T- Take initiative sexually
Men have physical needs. Sex is a wonderful way for them to connect with you intimately and have those needs met.
Look at the woman in Song of Songs. She isn’t shy about her feelings, needs, or desires for her husband. She tells him to kiss her, tells him he’s handsome and points out how “soft” their bed is, how she wants to taste and savor his love, how she loves being his woman and wants him on her breasts, and how she wants him to enjoy her beauty and take her for his own.
Driscoll talks about how the woman speaks first, last, and the most in Song of Songs. She is enthusiastically engaged in sexual pleasure and passion with and for her husband.
Sexual intimacy and pleasure between a husband and wife is completely Biblical. Let your husband know that sex is a priority for you and be willing to take the lead to turning you two on.
You Can Empower Him
Superman is onto something here when he says, “The real test of honor isn’t how you die. It’s how you live.”
You don’t really accomplish anything in death. It’s how you live until you die that matters.
The Message version of Ephesians 5:29-33 says this, “No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.”
If you want to honor your husband through your actions, you must first look to Christ and follow His example.
**Come back next week for Part 4 of Awakening the ‘Super’ in Your Man as we’ll talk about affirming your man’s gifts.
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Please jump over to Becoming His Eve and check out more ideas from Hannah.
About Hannah….
My name is Hannah Williams (a.k.a. Adam’s Eve) and I write a blog called Becoming His Eve. I am a spunky housewife married to a wonderful man of God and an amazing, loving sexy husband who gives big bear hugs and wonderful words of encouragement. And in ase you’re wondering, my husband’s name really is Adam. ;o) I have a passion for young women, writing, books, baking, nature, and music! I want to use my gifts, talents, and abilities to help transform relationships and communities for the Kingdom of Christ.
