Healthy marriage, healthy sex life with the one-another passages.
Do you allow your spouse to point you toward Christ when you get off course?
If you are not open to this kind of encouragement, may I suggest you do a little introspection? Why are you not open to course correction toward Christ? Is pride telling you that you don’t need anyone to remind you how to live?
Or is there something else going on? People in the midst of sin are often callous. Their hard hearts refuse to listen, refuse to consider opposing viewpoints. Their hard hearts like to justify morally wrong behavior and cannot understand how other people feel. People with hard hearts want what they want and don’t care who gets hurt in the process.
Today’s verse shows the correlation between sinful living and the hardness of one’s heart. Today’s verse also shows the antidote for this.
[info_box type=”success_box”]Hebrews 3:14-13, “See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.”[/info_box]
The Greek for encourage = παρακαλέω = parakaleo. Parakaleo includes things like beseech, encourage, exhort, beg, comfort, console. I would add cheerlead and support.
Hearts are hardened when they are far from Christ is found in 2 Corinthians 3:14: “But their minds were hardened. For to this day, when they read the old covenant, that same veil remains unlifted, because only through Christ is it taken away” (emphasis added).
Allowing your spouse to encourage you toward Jesus will help keep your heart tender. Tender hearts do not equal weak hearts. In truth, people with tender hearts are strong and brave. They risk being hurt because they willingly bring down the barriers that are put up for protection against emotional pain. People with tender hearts have marriages built upon trust.
Tender hearts build thriving marriages.
Did you know there is a correlation between deeper spiritual intimacy and richer sexual intimacy? When a couple encourages each other toward knowing God better, they end up knowing each other better, too. This is through shared prayer, shared Bible study, and discussions about what they’ve learned and how to apply it to their lives. This is also through shared purpose of life and a genuine care and concern for each other.
Living with Christ as the centerpiece of all you both believe brings peace, patience, joy, love, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control to live into both of your hearts. I can think of no better way to build sexual interest than to live in this kind of one-ness.
So, from today forward, encourage each other in your walk with the Lord.
You can do this by:
- Asking what your spouse’s favorite outreach program is and arranging a way to support the effort through volunteering or financial support.
- Singing your favorite worship songs together in the car.
- Going to worship on Sunday mornings and small group (life group) together. The one who doesn’t “feel like going” pushes him or herself to attend.
- Reading a small devotional to each other on the phone over lunch hour (heartlight.org has great 5 minute devos).
- Text each other spiritual thoughts, especially on those days you have an epiphany.
- Forward articles to your spouse that you find interesting from a spiritual perspective.
- Choose a book or podcast outside of your Christian denomination/heritage to read/listen together (with open hearts/minds), discuss what the book said, did you agree or disagree with certain points?
What if your spouse is not a believer?
You can do all of the things I’ve mentioned with slight modifications. You can still encourage him (or her) toward gratitude, peace, patience, joy, love, goodness, gentleness, kindness, faithfulness, self-control and moral living. You can encourage supporting humanitarian efforts that help others. You can invite him to join you in church functions or small group activities (acting neutral if he/she decides not to). You can build your friendship with him.
Foremost, pray over him daily and ask all your prayer warrior friends to pray over him, too.
