Divine Paradox of Generosity

by | Jan 31, 2014 | Improve Married Sex, Lift Low Libido, Low Libido Wife, Low Sex Drive, Relational Intimacy, Valentine's Day | 4 comments

When you give with no expectation of return in marriage, there may be an unexpected blessing.
When you give without expecting there might be a surprise at the end.
“It’s all about you, Babe.”
During our worst season of marriage, this might have been said with sarcasm during an argument, meaning the other was being selfish.  Not knowing the context of this phrase, it is easy to hear a snarky tone and visualize eye-rolling.
 
However, when my husband said this recently, he wasn’t snarky or sarcastic.  He was sincere.
Dave said these 5 words to me as we were discussing plans for our Valentine’s date. 
 
“It’s all about you, Babe.”
He was telling me he didn’t want me to consider his preferences.  Our date would revolve around my desires alone.
 
5 simple words made my knees go weak.  5 words made me feel cherished and honored.  5 words made me feel incredibly humble.  When he uttered them he expected absolutely nothing in return.

It’s a divine paradox.

When he uttered them, I didn’t want to keep taking.  I wanted to turn around and give him the world.  It didn’t make me selfish for more.  It made me want to overflow with generosity in return. It’s kind of a divine paradox.  Generosity creates more generosity.

What does this have to do with low sexual interest?

This may not apply to your marriage, but take a moment to evaluate.  When is the last time you completely and unselfishly laid aside your preferences to honor the preferences of your spouse?  Helping the low drive wife feel honored and cherished goes a long way toward building trust and emotional intimacy between the two of you.

This doesn’t mean that you cater to her at all the time, because that is not life nor how to have a relationship.  It means that occasionally you treat her like a queen.

I wonder how your sweetie will react if you utter these 5 words in all sincerity?

 When you give in your marriage without expectations, you might be pleasantly surprised.

 

4 Comments

  1. Greg
    Greg on February 1, 2014 at 4:41 pm

    “However, he was completely sincere. He was making it plain that he didn’t want me to consider his preferences. Our outing would revolve around my desires alone.”

    Kudos to Mr. Muscle for this!

    • Bonny Pearl
      Bonny Pearl on February 4, 2014 at 5:15 pm

      🙂 Fear makes us worry that if we give, we’ll be asked to keep on giving and be depleted. When, actually when we give, we inspire. I hope others can emulate Mr. Muscle and inspire generosity by mentoring generosity. 🙂 Thanks, Greg.

  2. Sis
    Sis on February 6, 2014 at 3:35 pm

    so sweet! I love hearing stuff like this.

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