I’ve talked a lot recently about building a better friendship in your marriage in order for sexual interest to grow.

To some, the thought of building a better friendship to grow sexual interest is completely unsexy and boring.  Most want to talk about loins growing moist and new positions.  That is great and all, but, in the art of long-term marriage, especially in a marriage with mismatched sex drives, friendship is foundational for a fantastic marriage bed.

Time, willingness, and being kind

Friendship building is easy for some, an instinct.  It happens naturally.  For others, friendship building is hard and doesn’t make sense.  Wherever you fall on this spectrum, in a marriage, friendship building takes three things; time, willingness, and being kind [See Eliminate These to Grow Sexual Interest].  You already know you sort-of like each other or at least you did at one time.

The most important of the these three things is time.  Slow down and just be together.

Let me take some pressure off, spending time together doesn’t mean you are always engaged in profound conversation or constant date-nights.  More often, you’re not doing anything more than hanging out.

Just hang out

When our kids were still at home and life was busy, we carved out 15 minutes a day to give each other our undivided attention, no screens, just eye contact and paying attention to one another.  Usually it was over a cup of coffee and a devo in the morning.  When we were first trying to get our marriage back on track we tried to have 15 hours together per week.  [See Miserable Marriage]

So, I’d like to leave you with 1 simple fun way to be together without spending any money or really expending too much mental energy.  In our busy lives, it’s good to be together in a simple kind of way.  It’s especially good if the time spent together allows you to connect with your spouse on that “care-free-kid” level.

Fun and easy!  Check this out:  5 Pencil and Paper Games That Aren’t Tic-Tac-Toe

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Latest ebook

I recently compiled my Virgin Bride series into a kindle ebook.  In this series, I answered several questions one blushing bride sent to me.  It is entitled, “Virgin Bride Guidebook:  Wedding Night Answers (What will it feel like?  How do I avoid pain?  What do I do?)

It is now available on Amazon.

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Personal Update:

First of all, I want to welcome my newest readers!  I’m so glad that you have found OysterBed7.  If you read anything here that helps you, God gets all the glory for that!  If you struggle with feeling sexy, please know that you are not alone.  If you have questions or concerns, you can reach me at pearlmail3@gmail.com.

Second, many of you may remember in December 2017 my husband was laid off.  Praise God, he very quickly found another job in his field!  The beauty of this new job is that he is working from home and we can live anywhere.

Some of you also know that Florida never felt like home for me.  So, in February we put the house up for sale and started searching for a new home near Knoxville, TN.  We chose the Knoxville area because it is centrally located between most of our family and the cost of living is 30% cheaper.

We’re excited that we found a new house.  It is the newest home we’ve ever purchased and is move-in ready!  When shopping for houses, we had only two requirements.  That it was within 30 minutes of the airport and 15 minutes to jazzercise!  The bonus and beauty of this home is we have those two things AND we can see Ft. Loudon Lake from the front porch.  We may be leaving the ocean, but we are not leaving the water. [See Wow Factor in Marriage]

For the second time in two years, I packed up every single item we own.  I’ve played mental Tetris, organized labor, POD logistics, and soon I will be calming dogs with Chamomile for the long trip north.

Please pray for us as we make the move over the next few days.  I will publish the next post from Lenoir City, TN!  Let’s hope we can get the internet up and running without a hitch.  😊