The call of Abraham has been on my mind a lot lately.
Genesis 12 tells us about this guy, Abram, who lives in the land of Ur. God instructs Abram to pack up and leave.
While in Ur, before the summons to leave, it seems Abram prospered. He accumulated possessions and people. He didn’t leave because things were bad. He left because God directed him to and Abram faithfully accepted the direction. (Abram would later be renamed Abraham by God.)
Abram was married to Sarai (later to become Sarah). I can well imagine his wife’s reaction to this relocation news, because I’m in Sarai’s shoes right now.
OK, I don’t have camels spitting at me while trying to load the tent. But, we probably share some of the heartache that accompanies leaving a place where you’re deeply rooted.
For the past several months, I’ve been wrapping my heart and mind around our relocation to south Florida. In so many ways this relocation hurts. I’m leaving two of my young adult kids. I’m leaving a community where I’ve served hurting women through Christian Women’s Job Corps. I’m leaving a church family we settled into 17 years ago. I’m leaving a home where my children spent the majority of their childhood.
There are so many memories. I like being surrounded by the physical reminders of those memories.
Basically, I’m leaving what I know and love for the unknown. It’s scary. What if I don’t love it?
Sometimes, you can be called to a new land without even leaving your house. Has God been calling you to a new land regarding your marriage bed?
Yes, there is heartache in leaving a place we know and are deeply rooted. But, consider this, are you deeply rooted or are your heels just dug in deep?
If there is a sexual desire gap (one spouse desires to have sex more than the other) in your marriage, God is calling you, the low drive spouse, to seek two things.
1. What else is going on? It’s not just about sex.
The first is to understand your marriage relationship better. If sex is a bone of contention, chances are there’s something else going wrong. You need to dig a little deeper to figure it out. Pray for God to give you insight and reveal what’s going on.
2. Honestly, look at your motives for not liking sex.
The second is to examine your own heart. Have you stuck to your non-frisky-business guns for so long that if you change sides now, you’d look like a traitor? That’s called stubbornness.
What if you changed that stubbornness to the perseverance of a marriage that is unified even in the bedroom?
Pursuing a more active sexual life may seem scary.
What if you don’t love it?
To counter the unknown and walk bravely into the Land of Sexual Intention, lean on the same promises God gave Abraham.
1. You will receive a reward – a more unified married.
2. You will have a purpose – to bless others through what you learn.
3. Your heart will be protected – God will handle whoever curses you or thwarts your effort.
“I will make you into a great nation,
and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
and you will be a blessing.
I will bless those who bless you,
and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
will be blessed through you,” Genesis 12:2.
I’m counting on these same promises of purpose, protection, and reward as I walk into the Land of Sunshine.
If you are heeding God’s call to explore the meaning of sexual intimacy in your marriage, I’m glad you are here. I don’t have all the answers. The answers I do have all came through prayer. That’s where I suggest you begin your journey.
The Power of Prayer in Your Sex Life
The Best Kept Secret to Lift Low Libido
Is It OK to Pray for Your Sex Life?
I Love Learning to Pray for Sexual Intimacy
Wow, so many changes in your life, Bonny! will be praying for you during this time. Change is hard and scary… i can only imagine… i’ve lived 26 years in the same state and even county (actually when we married DH and I moved to the county right next to the one i grew up in, so basically), and my husband and I are open to moving a significant in the future if the Lord leads us (and we’ve talked about it because of financial reasons because we live in a very expensive area), but i’m sure i’d feel the same as you if it came to that point. I can relate to an extent to this tho, because i feel the past few days particularly the Lord has been calling me to a new land, but more in my heart. I have realized going through the 12 steps in Celebrate Recovery and talking about surrendering my will, that i tend to hold on so tightly to the clay of my life and try to tell God what He should shape it into, or try to shape it myself… the past few days, i feel like He is trying to tell me to surrender all my dreams hopes and expectations and let Him decide the woman He will create; the story He will write. I like to make and control my own plans and look around me and see what others are doing and I think i should be doing those things too… The thought of my life plans possibly not being how I would have written or expected them to be is scary. Letting God write our story is scary sometimes as it means surrendering that control as we walk into a new land, or a new state of heart. It’s all about surrender. 🙂 a lesson i’m very slowly learning!
Surrender is like a sacrifice you make to God. I will be interested to see how God writes the end of your story.
Love Ya Lady!!!! I would love to be in the background watching you share your Hoosierisms down there in Florida! I have a feeling that you will do just fine though. Head up and heart open……….
I’m experiencing culture shock and am having to be very intentional with country friendliness.
🙁 so sorry! Teach ’em what true Hoosier Hospitality is about. Make us proud!!
Dear Bonny,
I just found your page through a link on a daily email I get from The Generous Wife. What it said was: “Is God Calling You To a Land of Sexual Intention?”. Trust in God’s promises.” I had to read it, because I’m feeling defeated in this area of my marriage. I am so appreciative of your ministry already, from just this one post!! I feel like God IS calling me to a new land in regard to our marriage bed, and I SO thank you for your words!!! Please pray for me as I seek God’s leading to meet my husband’s needs and strengthen our marriage!!
You and I have so much in common!! We just moved from Northeast Ohio, where I grew up and have always lived, to our retirement home in Southeastern Tennessee. I know EXACTLY how you feel, sister!! I have had to come to terms with leaving my 89 year old Mom, my twin sister (who is none too happy about our move!) my daughter and grandchildren, and the rest of my family. I’ve left a church home that I love, and just this past Sunday I think I’ve found a new church home here (thank You Jesus!!!)
I have had the same feelings. We bought a beautiful home in the country, surrounded by cows… what if I don’t like it?? I can SEE the look now if I were to say I CHANGED MY MIND!! THATS OKAY, RIGHT?!!! LOL!! There are bugs here that I’ve never seen, huge bugs; fire ants; and snakes that give me the heebee-geebees. WHAT were we THINKING?!! We brought my horse and our three dogs down on March 31at, so we are committed now!! GOD HELP US BOTH!!!
I know all about camping out… though I had internet lol… we slept on an air mattress for way too long!! It has been SUCH a long journey… we are here now, and I still have SO much to do!!!
I will be praying for you, and for your home to sell. We painted and cleaned, etc… ours might have sold to the first person who looked at it. Unbelievable!!
God bless you, and thank you so much for your blog!! I’m looking forward to reading more, and to what God does in my marriage!!
Thank you for the prayers, new friend!! We have even more in common than you think. My sister and brother live in eastern TN. And my hubby slept on an air mattress for 4 months (it was self-inflating and not horrible….but still….I know you get it.)
I’ll be praying for your journey into your new land of ooh-la-la. 🙂 If the words on this blog give you any encouragement, God gets all the glory!!