Amanda Uher, of allthelittlepieces (mothering. mildly misbehaving. making life matter) finishes her series for you today.
God happened to place this kindred blogging sister in a seat right next to mine, not just once, but twice, at SheSpeaks! We exchanged pleasantries. But, I didn’t know what a gem she was until after I got home and visited her blog.
Amanda Uher delightfully writes about juggling the bits of life with a young family at allthelittlepieces. She is full of insight and humor and weaves her faith through the imperfection of it all.
Amanda is smack dab in the middle of the chaos of young mama life. It was a time when I wished I’d better invested in sexual intimacy. She’s candidly speaking today.
Please welcome, Amanda Uher!
You’d be awesome if you show her some love and leave a comment at the end.
I admitted last week that if I have a few moments where “Less Tired” AND “The Children Are Not In The Room” overlap… sex is not always (ever?) the thing I want to do.
I am a mama. Of little children. This means I am a professional, full-time, Need Meeter.
This also means it’s easy for me to view my husband as just “One More Person Who Needs Something From Me NEED NEED NEED WHY DOES EVERYBODY ALWAYS NEED SOMETHING FROM ME!!!!!”
I understand that SOMEDAY my kids won’t need me anymore and I will look back longingly on these days. But today is not that day, and so I just cannot be the person who says, “Ladies, you really ought to be more selfless. Your man has Needs, and you ought to be meeting them.”
What I DO want to say, fellow mama-of-littles, is that YOU have needs.
And sex with your husband is a very effective means of meeting them.
Allow me to explain. Here are a few thoughts I’ve had since becoming a mother:
“I feel kind like I’ve lost my identity.”
“Who am I besides ‘Mom’ now?”
“I’ll do more for me when the kids get older.”
Am I the only one thinking these things? Can you relate at all?
Sometimes I need to be reminded that the “me” I was before “Mommy” STILL EXISTS. Yes, motherhood changes everything (not the least of which is my body)… but mama, in all the important ways, you’re still YOU. (Sidenote: I promise, your man is not looking at you thinking, “saggy boobs” — all he’s thinking is, “BOOBS.”)
Remember Psalm 139:14? “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
This is not just a verse for your babies.
This is not just a verse about when YOU were a baby.
This is true of you TODAY.
It doesn’t say “I WAS fearfully & wonderfully made.” Read it again: “I praise you because I AM fearfully and wonderfully made.”
You ARE fearfully and wonderfully made.
YOU.
And YOU are still in there somewhere. You are an amazing mama. AND you are an exciting, brilliant, creative, beautiful, SEXY, DESIRABLE WOMAN.
In the bedroom with your husband could be the best arena you have to find her. To re-awaken her. To BE HER.
Ask God to help you find “Less Tired.” To help you capture private moments. And to help you remember who you are.
For your marriage, for your husband, and for YOU.
Amanda lives near Charlotte, NC, with her husband Matt, and their two young children. She loves Jesus – but sometimes she’s not very good at it. When it comes to motherhood, wife-hood (is that a thing?), and life in general, sometimes she gets it right; sometimes she crashes and burns. It usually makes for some good stories along the way. Find her atallthelittlepieces.com, like her page at http://facebook.com/If this is your first time visiting OysterBed7, Welcome! Please stay awhile, peruse the archives and don’t forget to follow me via facebook fanpage or twitter (@oysterbed7).
I know this article is a couple years old but I wanted to say Thank you!
This has really helped me as a mom of a 3yr old and 6 month old feeling like motherhood is enveloping all of who I am.