A divorced man at church made this comment to us, “I want my next marriage to be just like y’all’s, best friends,”
I commenced to tell him how hard we worked at being ‘best friends.’ For a while, we weren’t friends at all. We nearly destroyed our marriage. We work hard because we never want to be in that place again.
Since this week is our 28th wedding anniversary, I want to honor the transformation God has brought about in our marriage. I want to tell you a little about the man who works so hard to keep our marriage thriving, my husband, David, (whom I often refer to as Mr. Muscle).
Dave amazes me. And, I’ll be honest, at times he infuriates me, as I do him. We challenge each other, but have learned to accept what the other thinks as valid. Just because we don’t agree, doesn’t make either wrong.
Kids flock to our pew at church Sunday morning. Because, Mr. Dave has an iPhone loaded with kiddo game apps. Occasionally, our pew gets a little rowdy when someone’s turn has gone too long and the kids start voicing displeasure.
He sincerely adored his grandmother. When he told her, ‘I love your fried apple pies nearly as much as I love you,’ or, ‘a lovely lady like yourself shouldn’t be pumping your own gas,’ she melted.
He is the King of original Corn. He excels at word play and puns. He keeps me laughing and groaning. He is better at spelling and grammar than I am.
He calls to check on the sick and friends he hasn’t seen in a while.
He and I have our contentious moments because of miscommunication. But, where we get along well is ‘outside of the box’ thinking. We both like looking at things from unusual perspectives.
As I’ve said in many posts, he truly is a David, a man with flaws but who pursues God relentlessly. He has told me that there is nothing in his human body that can help him overcome. He has succeeded in becoming an Ephesians 5:25 husband purely through the hope of Jesus’ resurrection. The Holy Spirit empowered Dave with the heart of a Jesus, a servant leader with great might.
His favorite Bible verse is, “Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe in Him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit,” Romans 15:13.
Dave also loves me relentlessly. He shows me love in ways that don’t necessarily speak to him but they speak to me. The Holy Spirit helped him with selfless understanding.
When he details my car, I am putty in his hands. (I know people have scoffed at chore-play as fore-play, but it creates some nice sexual tension in this house.)
I am loved so well by God through David, how could I not be inspired to participate in their meaningful act of love? I hope to honor God and David by figuring out my libido and understanding the deep spiritual meaning of sexual intimacy.
I know there are other wives out there who are being loved well, but don’t understand they are being loved well.
Your husband may not be showing you love in a way that makes sense to you. He needs to work on understanding you. But, where you can help him is to start honoring his love in a way he identifies.
Your husband may not be showing you love in a way that makes sense to you. He needs to work on understanding you. But, where you can help him is to start honoring his love in a way he identifies.
Has your husband ever said he is sexually dissatisfied because of lack of frequency (less than once a week)? If so, you might consider if showing him more frequent sexual interest connects with him emotionally. Show him love in a way that makes sense to him. You don’t have to understand why. Sexual intimacy screams emotional intimacy to men. Open this topic up for further discussion and pray for the Holy Spirit to help you understand the spiritual nature of sexual intimacy.
Also see, My Cowboy is Not My Best Friend.
Sharing with: Wednesday Works For Me, Messy Marriage
Also see, My Cowboy is Not My Best Friend.
Sharing with: Wednesday Works For Me, Messy Marriage
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What a nice post about your man, Bonny! Happy anniversary week to you both!
Thank you very much!
Good stuff as always, Bonny. Congratulations on your anniversary!
Aw, thanks, Gaye!
“I am loved so well by God through David, how could I not be inspired to participate in their meaningful act of love?”
Oh my. I never thought of it this way, of God loving me through my husband. It brought tears to my eyes. Thank you!
Thank you, Sally. It was a revelation to me, as well. It helps me tamper some of my worst moments.
There’s a lot of wisdom packed in a your words today. I appreciate the gentle reminders.
Blessings,
Shari
Thank you for stopping by, Shari, and your kind words. I know I need gentle reminders often.
I’m learning to pray that my wife will feel loved today. I’ve found that as soon as I utter the prayer, I stop thinking about what I want, and begin thinking about all those little things that I already know mean so much to her (even if not to me). I wonder if wives would get a similar effect by praying for their husband’s sexual fulfillment.