If you are just joining the Sex Drive Transformation Challenge, WELCOME and please see the INTRODUCTION HERE.
(Husbands, if you are reading, you are invited to pray these scriptures and thoughts over your wives.)
He likes to visit boat dealerships and haggle for fun.
She likes to visit the tapestry exhibits at art museums.
His bucket list includes leaping out of an aircraft with a tiny handkerchief strapped to his back.
Her bucket list includes ball room dancing lessons.
He likes to be a virtual warrior on Call of Duty.
She’s a Pinterest queen.
It’s obvious that different things rate high in fun factor for the opposite sexes. We don’t naturally gravitate to each other’s favorite past times.
If your mister has a Saturday not tied up with birthday parties, soccer games or men’s breakfasts, what would he do; fish, play music, hunt, watch nascar, golf, jog?
Here’s your challenge, ladies. In the near future actively participate in whatever it is that revs his recreational engine. Engage in your husband’s 2nd favorite hobby. 2nd favorite because his first is probably love making with you.
Even science proves the old adage, “A couple that plays together, stays together.” Here’s just a sample of positive studies:
This 1999 study of married marathon runners stated that marital satisfaction was higher when the spouse supported the past time.
What if you hate his hobby?
I will be praying for your generous and willing spirit.
It won’t hurt to try it just once. Consider it an act of romance. Isn’t romance about putting the other person in a position where they feel unique and pursued? Fishing may not seem very romantic to you, but it’s dripping with honey to him.
His favorite gal taking an interest in his favorite leisure activity will do his heart wonders. It’s the truest of romantic gestures.
Embrace his passion with curiosity and try to release feelings of inadequacy if the activity is one where you don’t feel proficient. He will probably enjoy being able to share his knowledge and teach you something.
Don’t expect a lot of talking. Dr. Eggerichs, in the book Love & Respect, speaks of male shoulder-to-shoulder bonding. Men bond just by being in the vicinity of another. Discussion is not necessary and may even be annoying.
What if he’s been mean to you all week and doesn’t deserve it?
How will the atmosphere of your marriage ever change if someone doesn’t go first? Consider this an act of self-sacrifice AND romance. We are called, as Christians, to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. I know there have been plenty of seasons when I didn’t deserve loving kindness and pursuit. We didn’t deserve Christ dying on the cross for us, either.
Spending time together like this will build memories. It will give you something to talk about later, even if there’s not a whole lot of discussion during.
Golf Season
There was a season when Mr. Muscle was into golf. For my initiation, we started by playing at the Par 3 course where the tee to hole distance is short. We would go to driving ranges. I took a few group lessons that weren’t expensive to gain knowledge of the technique. It didn’t take long before I was shooting off the tee at the municipal course and kind of knew what I was doing.
Surprising Results:
1. He was proud of my efforts to be by his side.
2. The physical activity did me a world of good.
3. When he wanted to golf with his friends, I was less jealous of his time spent away from me. I knew what was going on at the golf course. They weren’t discussing earth shattering topics. There wasn’t much discussion going on at all. Most importantly, the majority of his leisure time had already been spent with me. My heart was full.
4. Spending time with Dave, doing something I was only moderately interested in, was WAY MORE valuable than any time spent scrapbooking or jewelry making with my friends.
The Sex-Drive-Transformation has focused largely on the inner person of the wife. Today’s focus is building emotional libido, which is where I operate a lot of times. It’s imperative to build emotional intimacy with our misters. That’s why I encourage you, ladies, to step out in love and courage. You’ll like the results!!
WEEK 24
“You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God. This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God,” 2 Corinthians 8:11&12.
Positive Affirmation (verb: cherish)
I cherishmy playful husband. I cherishthat our play connects us and builds my sexual energy. I cherish my sexual energy. Sexual intimacy with my husband is fun, worth being cherished and most importantly, God-ordained.
I used to not be a big sports fan at all. I always followed the Duke Blue Devils and played basketball when I was younger, but hadn’t gone to any big games. My husband was a sports official when we met, so I went to all his games in support. Out of that, we got involved with the kids he officiated and such. Then I started watching football with him. I even got him preseason tickets to an NFL game for his birthday. He totally got me hooked on sports and we have enjoyed trips to see football, hockey, lacrosse and even my Duke Blue Devils! I think he really appreciates me showing true interest in what’s going on besides the colors of the uniforms. 🙂