“Mess with a woman’s sense of trust and you mess with her lust,” Dr. Robert Glover.
As low libido gals, we have to absolutely trust our man to be able to emotionally connect with him. We have to absolutely trust to become vulnerable.
Lack of trust can build skepticism, sense of betrayal, uncertainty, doubt. Those things are the exact opposite of the oneness we are to feel with our spouse.
How do we build trust?
Encourage Truth. Be tough enough to withstand truth your spouse shares that might make you uncomfortable. Wouldn’t you rather withstand a little pain than be lied to? Create a safe place for your spouse to open his heart. Meltdowns and angry tirades don’t promote a safe place.
Preferred Status. My husband flies weekly for business. He flies so much that he gets preferential treatment. He gets to board the plane with the First Class passengers. Having flown with him, I felt incredibly significant when allowed the perks of Preferred Status.
Preferential treatment builds trust. Preferential treatment shows in actions your spouse puts you first. When you feel cherished, nurtured, and adored through preferential treatment your heart relaxes. Of course, you trust them. They are loving you as God commanded, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” If you are loving someone as much as you love yourself you are showing ‘oneness.’
I believe when one spouse starts to display this a mirroring effect will happen. The other spouse will start showing preferential treatment, too. If mirroring doesn’t happen as desired, talk with your spouse about what preferential treatment means to you.
God’s Beautiful Cycle. Having emotional connectivity (trust) with our husbands causes a surge in bedroom steaminess. Touching and orgasm release oxytocin.
Oxytocin is my absolute most favorite hormone in my body. I love it even more than testosterone, which is the sex drive hormone. Oxytocin drenches our brains in divine feelings of calm, happy and connected. Oxytocin also drenches us in feelings of trust!
Trusting in your man, raises your emotional libido and promotes sexual intimacy.
Sexual intimacy releases oxytocin and promotes more trust.
Trust to have sex.
Have sex to trust.
If trust has been an issue impeding your libido, please pray that God will reveal resources so that you may understand better and help you heal.
Who can we always trust?
“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged,” Deut. 31:8.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart. And do not lean upon your own understanding. In all ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight,” Proverbs 3:5&6.
Positive Affirmation:
I trust that God made sexuality for my benefit, for my marriages benefit and for my husband’s benefit. I trust I can tap into my sexual nature.
What’s the Scripture and Affirmation about? Check out Unlock Your Libido: 52-Week Sex Drive Transformation.
To read more about Trust and Oxytocin see this Berkely University study.
If this is your first time visiting OysterBed7, Welcome! Please see why sex and low libido are my focus. Look at the archives and don’t forget to follow me on facebook and twitter (@Oysterbed7).
So glad this dropped in my mailbox. I am looking to make some changes in our relationship and see that they will not be possible without trust. She not only has to buy into the plan, but trust that the changes will be positive and not abusive or inconsiderate of her feelings and wants.
I pray you will show her that you are worthy of her trust and that she will take ownership of the changes you are trying to make and mirror them!
I am looking forward to seeing what you and Forgiven Wife are up to.
Thanks, D!