My college aged son made an observation last night. “You cook more in the winter, mom.” He’s absolutely right. The lack of light and the dropping temperatures trigger something deep within me. It’s a desire to eat more, sleep more, and generally slow down. I think I’m preparing for hibernation.
My husband and I are both highly affected by sunlight. When we moved to Wilmington, NC, from Columbus, OH, it was amazing how much better I felt. The sun shines here 85% of the time. I witnessed a positive transformation in my husband I never expected. This was while we were still having tremendous marriage problems. So, I know his positive change wasn’t due to an increase in sexual fulfillment. I would have never realized the huge impact of the sun if we had not moved to Wilmington.
Before the move, I was skeptical about Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). I am no longer skeptical. The “winter blues” is a true depression.
According to the mayoclinic, women are diagnosed more often with SAD. However, men have more severe symptoms.
Although a small percentage are clinically diagnosed with SAD. We can all be seasonally susceptible to overeating, oversleeping, and undersexing from the lack of sunlight.
Seasonally Squelched Sexuality
The cause of SAD is believed to be the lack of sunlight during the winter months (for my Australian friends, I guess this would be during the summer months). The lack of sunlight means our bodies produce melatonin at the wrong times and in the wrong amounts. Melatonin is inhibited by light and released with darkness. Melatonin is a part of the sleep-wake cycle, causing drowsiness and drop in body temperature to prepare for sleep. (Read Sleepin’ is Sexy for more on this.)
Melatonin is created from Serotonin. The more melatonin that is produced, the more serotonin that is used up.
A lack of serotonin can lead to depression. Hence, the effectiveness of antidepressants that are Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRI). They inhibit your brain from using up the serotonin available. So, more serotonin leads to a more balanced emotional system.
Serotonin is also part of the afterglow of sexual intimacy.
One of the classic symptoms of depression is decreased sexual appetite. So, it makes sense that low libido gals may have even less libido in the winter. Unless you muster….
Intentional Libido
Armed with this knowledge, a feisty wife will take note. Don’t be a victim of low light circumstance.
Make yourself get outside on sunny days. Soak up the light as much as you can. (According to mayoclinic.com, Light therapy has been proven to be effective with SAD.)
Exercise
Move! Get the blood flowing to release neurochemical nectar in your brain. For more info on the benefits of exercise in regards to depression, sex life, and overall health, please see Calm.Healthy.Sexy’s link here.
Stay Warm
I was particularly intrigued with the fact that melatonin lowers your body temperature.
Lowered body temperature plus lowered outside temperatures might make for a frigid wife, literally. When you are all tensed up and chattering from exposure, even in your own bedroom, it’s hard to get into the right frame of relaxation for the horizontal hula.
Remember from Labia Love that the labia major, a part of female genitalia, is also affected by temperature. So, not only would lower temps affect our ability to relax, it will affect the ability of our lady parts to perform!
I speak what I knoweth. The OysterBed household is in the market for a good bedside space heater right now. (Any suggestions on space heaters? Something not too pricey.)
You might be thinking, “Just nestle under the blankets to keep warm.” Blankets can inhibit movement and there is no view for our visual guys. If you prefer not to be hidden beneath the down comforter, make a nest of blankets or wrap a blanket around your shoulders in addition to the space heater for warmth.
Necessity is the mother of invention, right? Well, a recent discovery led to a delectable sensation. Warm up your lubricant!
Remember that Christmas when mug warmers were all the rage? Well, dig it out, turn it on, and set your lubricant on top of it. (Of course, this will depend on the type of lubricant you use and what kind of container it’s in.) Warm oil may not seem that exciting, but wow is it delicious!!! (Think I should tell sweet, 90-year-old, Mrs. D, what we are doing with the Christmas gift she gave us?)
I’m sure some of you North Woods girls probably have helpful hints on how to keep from being a shivering mess. I would love to hear your suggestions for personal warmth! I’m already freezing.
Scripture Meditation
Psalm 19 caught my attention today. I know it’s a little long, but it’s so lovely.
The command of the Lord is radiant, nothing is hidden from its heat. Whether you read this through with sexual intimacy, spiritual intimacy, or emotional intimacy in mind, it’s beautiful. The entirety of our lives thrive when we heed the instruction of the Lord.
The last segment hit me especially hard. How much are we unintentionally selfish in our marriage? Yes, Lord, Please, cleanse me of hidden faults!
Psalm 19
The heavens declare the glory of God,
and the sky proclaims the work of His hands.
Day after day they pour out speech;
night after night they communicate knowledge.
There is no speech; there are no words;
their voice is not heard.
Their message has gone out to all the earth,
and their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens He has pitched a tent for the sun.
It is like a groom coming from the bridal chamber;
It rejoices like an athlete running a course.
It rises from one end of the heavens
and circles to their other end;
nothing is hidden from its heat.
The instruction of the Lord is perfect,
renewing one’s life;
the testimony of the Lord is trustworthy,
making the inexperienced wise.
The precepts of the Lord are right,
making the heart glad;
the command of the Lord is radiant,
making the eyes light up.
The fear of the Lord is pure,
enduring forever;
the ordinances of the Lord are reliable
and altogether righteous.
They are more desirable than gold –
than an abundance of pure gold;
and sweeter than honey,
which comes from the honeycomb.
In addition, Your servant is warned by them;
there is great reward in keeping them.
Who perceives his unintentional sins?
Cleanse me from my hidden faults.
Moreover, keep your servant from willful sins;
do not let them rule over me.
Then I will be innocent
and cleansed from blatant rebellion.
May the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
be acceptable to You,
LORD, my rock and my Redeemer.
Positive Affirmation
I radiate heat for my beloved. I radiate sexual energy. God ordained sexual intimacy and designed it to bond my husband and me. Sexual intimacy radiates with good and pleasing gifts from the Lord.
Want to read more on how the sun affects libido? Check out Sex and the Beach.
Great advice! On a related note, I read an article today which said that 95% of serotonin is made by the bacteria in our digestive tracts! What? I thought it was made in the brain. We know it affects the brain but apparently, according to this source (The American Psychological Association) it is actually made in the “gut.” So that’s another reason to eat well and keep our digestive systems strong and healthy.
Also, thanks for the link love!
That’s incredible! The gut is a strength I am just recently learning about. I did not know serotonin is produced there! After being very ill last winter, I started some pro-biotics because I read the gut is important for the immune system. Great stuff, G!
I live in the NW and my Dr. suggested using a tanning bed for 5 minutes every week — not enough to be harmful or develop a crazy winter tan — but just enough to get a little UV exposure during our long, cold winters!
I loved tanning beds too much in my younger days, but they did help me feel really good! I didn’t stick to just 5 minutes. That seems like good advice from doc!
On the little heater. we have one that looks like the oldfashioned boiler type. There’s oil in (permanent) there that heats up recirculatrs. no blower or anything to be a distraction.
I never thought about a fan being a distraction, but you make a good point when total focus may be needed. I’ll look into this type of heater. Thanks for the suggestion!
This article has been a real eye-opener for me, especially as I thought I knew most of the effects of SAD; so thank you! Having grown up in Indiana (especially in the fall and winter months) I’m sure you more than remember the dark overcast, cloudy conditions that happen frequently; sometimes up to two weeks at a time without any sunshine. It’s bad enough that one local weatherman coined the phrase “permacloud.”
I remember well the grey nasty of Indiana winter. It is why I know that SAD is a true depression. Experienced it first hand.
Great idea with the mug warmer. Do you think a candle warmer would work the same way?
My hubby and I have been reading the articles and are going to experiment with coconut oil – any advice?
Coconut oil lives up to the hype! I love the low melting point, pleasant light aroma and silky texture. It is a thinner oil than olive oil. A towel underneath is good because since its thinner is runs more easily. You can experiment with amounts. We have no adverse allergic reactions on any sensitive area. It washes out of fabric well. It is economic, too. I like a good amount and yet the jar has lasted several months. Have fun!!!
Wonderful topic! Great advice here, Bonny. And it reminds me of one of my favorite sex research findings: People climax more when they wear socks during the sexual encounter. I guess that having warm feet can help everything else heat up the way it should.
Happy winter!