There is a lot of unrest in the world, so you may live in an area where life threatening situations are a reality. But, there are also a lot of areas in the world where peace is the norm and stress is more of our own making. I’m going to guess that you live in an area where stress is mostly emotional and not life-threatening.
This post is dedicated to the stress that is brimming over in our lives, good or bad. Through the past month, I’ve been settling into east TN. Moving is an obvious source of stress, but there have been some physical issues and family upheaval that have also created an emotional burden.
When the gauge on my sexual-interest-ometer settles near zero, it dawns on me that my stress level is a little out of control.
Why does stress affect sex?
Physiologically, when we’re under stress the body produces cortisol, a stress hormone, at the expense of sex hormones like testosterone and progesterone. In other words, when stress ramps up, the body produces stress hormones and shuts down the production of sex hormones. Reduce sex hormones and the drive for sex decreases. This is part of God’s design for longevity. Your body, when under stress, focuses on survival not procreation.
Why do some people become more sexually driven under stress?
Because, their bodies naturally seek out ways to decrease cortisol levels. In God’s mysterious design, sex and orgasm can reduce levels of stress hormones.
Seeking sex to relieve stress isn’t usually the “go-to” for the majority of wives who struggle with low sexual interest. For wives who struggle with feeling sexual, stress strangles that lovin’ feelin’.
Oh, Ye of Little Faith
I have heard theologians postulate that worry and stress are types of unbelief. Telling me that just ADDS more stress! I’m stressing because I don’t believe enough? Sheesh. Good or bad, I think that stress is basic to life and it’s in that place of stress where I can practice reaching for Christ’s hand. Because remember, he doesn’t save us from the storms, he saves us through the storms.
He sends help in likely and unlikely places during the storms, even minor storms. After four weeks of sciatica pain, I finally got an appointment to see a new chiropractor. As a part of the new patient welcome packet, there was this section:
Less Emotional Stress.
- Rest. Sleep is healing. Sleepin’ is sexy.
2. Exercise at your comfortable level. Don’t hate me for saying it – exercise helps sex drive.
3. Free your mind from unnecessary stress. Follow this rule: Categorize each worry in what you can do something about and what you can’t. Focus on what you have control over and let the rest go. Destress to improve your sexiness.
4. In presence of negative thought: recognize, replace with positive and reject negative. Fear not.
5. Prayers, meditations, reading, and stretching are just a few ways to release stress. Find what works best for you.
6. Laugh more! I love laughter leads to sexual desire.
7. Bathe in Epsom Salts and essential oils.
8. Don’t take others or yourself too seriously.
These suggestions are great and do-able! These suggestions are called self-care. You may prefer one or two of these things over the others and that’s OK. Do whatever you like and find effective. Because, by doing something you can reduce your cortisol levels.
Final Thoughts
If you suffer from increased anxiety when stress is high, you are not a failure in faithfulness. It just means you need to turn to him more and feel his presence more often. Be in continual prayer.
“Therefore, submit to God. But resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners, and purify your hearts, double-minded people!” James 4:7-8 (HCSB).
If you are a wife who struggles with low sexual interest and are in a season of high stress, sex scheduling is a life preserver for your marriage (especially if you have a high drive husband). Create a sex schedule.
And, my final gift is laughter! Here’s something to help you not take life too seriously. Chuckle along with these short videos by Christian comedian, John Crist. He’s clean and I laughed out loud!
