6 years ago, I started a Christian marriage blog that turned into a place of encouragement and mentorship for wives that struggle with physical sexual desire.  Before the blog, Dave and I facilitated marriage classes.  Unfortunately, his work schedule ramped up so much that we no longer had time to do both lead the class and nurture our own marriage.  When we stopped facilitating, I was still compelled to continue helping hurting wives.

Since God placed in me the ability to write, it was a natural leap to take my passion for helping hurting wives to the interwebs.

Before I go on, I want to welcome you who have joined me in the recent months.  I hope you stay awhile and talk to me.  I’m pretty much an open book.  Dave and I have come a long way!  We have a great relationship but are still very much a work in progress.  Thankfully, God isn’t done with us and he’s not done with you, either!!

I cherish you who have been with me for awhile, even since the beginning!  Thank you for your support and wonderful emails.

All of you, please, let other people know you find my posts helpful.  Share with your friends and with your church leadership.  Word of mouth works, too!  You have more friends than you know struggling in their marriages.  People with marriage problems suffer in silence for far too long before saying anything.  Usually, it reaches crisis level before anything is revealed.  So, please, proactively share my material, as well as, my other fellow marriage/sex bloggers’, you will be helping more people than you know.

Back to the 6th anniversary….did you know the modern gift for the 6^th wedding anniversary is wood?  So, does that gift come in the morning, you think? *wink*  No self-respecting sex blogger could resist slipping that one in.

This is the week I give you all a glimpse into my life.  In honor of you being with me for 6 years, I thought I’d share some 6’s.

6 things you may not know about me.

1.I have been writing since I could barely spell a three-letter word. My mom recognized this and bought me a pre-school typewriter when I was 5.  It was red and white.  She taught me how to type my own manuscripts on a manual typewriter the summer I was 13.  I submitted a manuscript to a New York publishing company that same summer.  It was rejected.  I still have the manuscript but am too scared to read it.

2. I wear a retainer to bed every night. At the age of 35, I had braces because of an Alfred E. Neuman sized space between my two front teeth and an overbite.  I also would grind my teeth at night and had a bit of TMJ.  We all have one thing we hate about ourselves, right?  That hillbilly hole was my one thing.  Some ladies have plastic surgery to correct or augment.  I had a year of migraines, but am oh-so-happy with the results that I gladly wear my adolescent looking retainer.  The orthodontist said if my teeth weren’t so small they would have been able to bond my two front teeth together in the back and I wouldn’t need a retainer.  But, I don’t mind wearing it and sleep just fine with it in.

3. There’s not a constant stream of conversation between Dave and I. When there is a constant stream of conversation (at least one-sided), it’s usually in the morning.  I am an early bird!  (Right now it’s 5:12 a.m.)  Dave is not an early bird, so sometimes he reminds me that he hasn’t had enough coffee to process my words. However, we have meaningful conversation at other times of the day.  It just isn’t constant.

4. Just because I know a whole lot more about sexual “things” (as in technique and gadgets) doesn’t mean it translates into our bedroom.  However, I absolutely do practice what I preach when it comes to sex scheduling.

5. I OCD a little. I like my towels folded a certain way (in half lengthwise, then in half width-wise, and then in thirds lengthwise).  I like my forks and spoons stacked in the silverware drawer.  I love lists.  I will write something on the list that is already completed to have the satisfaction of marking it off the list!

6. True confession, I like to drive fast. The kids used to say, “Let mom drive!” if we needed to get anywhere quickly.  I’ve only had 1 speeding ticket.  (Hey, it’s in my genes.  My dad used to work at the Indy 500 track on race day as a young husband.)

6 things I’ve learned as a sex blogger.

1. Every marriage is different. One marriage may have a higher drive husband, the other may have a higher drive wife.  The reasons for one woman to have low sexual interest will be totally different from reasons another woman will have low sexual interest.  However, things become typical because they are more common.  I write to the commonalities, but take into account not everyone is typical.

2. I’ve learned that low sexual interest is really what I’m addressing on this blog, not low libido. However, because low libido is such a widely used and understood term I will still use it.  See:  Rethinking Low Libido

3. I can only lead you down the path. You have to do the work.

4. Nomatter the subject, blogging takes as much professionalism and self-discipline as any other career, even if it is a blogging ministry. I strive to have the professionalism of a country doctor.  Down to earth, yet pretty savvy about what I’m doing.

5. When I’m asked in a crowd what I do, I use the words physical intimacy a lot before transitioning into saying sex. It makes things less awkward.  People get really quiet when I say I write about Christian physical intimacy.  I’m not sure if they are quiet because they’re uncomfortable or fascinated, maybe it’s a bit of both.

6. Overconfidence will buy you a new blog theme. Earlier this year, I broke my blog because of overconfidence.  I inserted some code I found on the internet and messed things up beyond repair.  I’d been thinking about a revamp of the blog’s look and got it sooner than I anticipated.  I now have a new IT best friend, Grayson Bell at imarkinteractive.com.

6 of my favorite things about OysterBed7.

1. I like helping mismatched marriages. It just happens that God gave me a calling to help wives with low sexual interest.  I like watching marriages bloom as they go through the transition from mismatched to more matched.

2. I like that sexual intimacy is a mystery. I never can quite figure it out.  I keep honing my understanding of God’s design.

3. I like hearing from you. I hear from those who have learned things through my writing.  I hear from those who want to argue with me about certain points.  You email to point me to some great resources/podcasts.  You email me with very personal questions which I always answer myself!  I value all the conversations I have with you.

4. I really really really like our new podcast, Sex Chat for Christian Wives for three reasons. First, blogging is done in isolation and sometimes it feels lonely.  You can’t pop over into the next cubicle to say, “Hi!”   With the podcast, we now have a very intimate support tribe.  I love that I’ve developed better friendships with my favorite marriage/sex bloggers.  Second, God keeps showing up for me.  When it comes to my contribution on our episodes, sometimes, I feel like Moses or Stephen.  Moses especially didn’t feel he could speak.  Words come out of my mouth and I’m like, “Wow!  Where did that come from?  …The Holy Spirit!”  Third, I love our collaborative effort to help marriages.  We each have an overlapping, yet, unique area of perspective. We can blanket each topic with complementing ideas.

5. I like that I’m a journalist of sorts, not just a blogger. It’s a combination of scientific writer and lifestyle reporter.

6. I like the other creative parts of blogging, creating graphics and the choosing the look of the blog. I like scrolling through all the images to find just the right one to complement a blog post or quote.  Sometimes, I have to make myself just pick one because I could spend all day searching.  Thursday is my day to create and post a scripture or quote graphic on our podcast facebook page.

Final Thoughts

Recently, someone messaged me how they were glad I didn’t sell every new “ginsu knife and gadget” on the market.  In other words, this person was glad I didn’t have a bunch of ads cluttering up my content.  I will always strive to be as ad free as possible.  However, you see ads on blogs because those writers need compensation for their time and expenditures.  You do what you gotta do.

I wish money wasn’t a thing, but it is.  It takes money to keep this blog (and now, podcast) going.  Not only are there technical fees (especially when I break my blog), but there are fees for workshops, seminars, and learning opportunities.  Plus, one day, I’d like a virtual assistant and paid professional subscription to Shutterstock for better images.  I’m also trying to figure out how to have an extra amount of income to compensate my time and help my husband not have to work so hard.

With all that being said, I’ve been invited to be an Amazon Influencer.  This means I have a virtual storefront on Amazon.  It’s filled with many things that I personally use and recommend.  For every item you purchase through the store, I’ll receive a little commission.  For now, it includes only things that are marriage and sexual intimacy related.  However, I may branch out to include things I love in all areas of my life.  You trust me with things outside of the marriage bed, too, right?

Click here to see:  Bonny’s Amazon Store

Before the end of the week, I’ll give you a recap of how my past 12 months have looked outside of the blog.  This is also known as, “Life Outside of the OysterBed.”

Past Blogversary and Life Recaps

2013 – 25 Random Realizations After 1 Year of Blogging

2013 – Out of the Shell

2014 – Happy 2^nd Blogversary

2014 – Outside of the OysterBed

2014 – More Life outside of the OysterBed

2015 – Ooops!  This year got skipped

2016 – Happy 4^th Blogversary

2017 – Happy 5^th Blogversary (Personal Life)

2017 – The 5 Questions I’m Most Often Asked About My blog.